Those staring into a new dynamic for a relationship are confronted by a seemingly myriad number of options.
BDSM is such a broad brush that much comes under its banner.
The specific requirement for female domination within a partnership can be no less confusing, but certain styles can overlap, or even get confused with one another.
Take gentle femdom and role reversal. They look like they could be the same, but they aren’t.
So what is the difference between gentle femdom and role reversal?
Generally speaking, gentle femdom is domination of a male by a self identified female that doesn’t involve the harsher elements traditionally associated with femdom. The domination is more ‘loving’ and based around nurturing. Role reversal within femdom is the transposition of traditional roles of the male and female. The female takes over the role of provider and protector whilst the male takes on a more supportive role to the female. Within role reversal the female might usually initiate sex and penetrate the male with the use of toys.
The BDSM industry is replete with people trying to put a style of domination in a box though.
The truth is that defining your own role and preferences is what makes your style unique.
It may have passing similarities for others but yours suits you, and that’s what important. No-one should try to conform to a predetermined mindset.
So if you are new it’s probably better to try and cast aside preconceived notions and find your own way, ultimately you will be more satisfied.
A mistress dropping her toe into these new waters might be advised to concentrate on what makes you feel happy and fulfilled and find a submissive who accepts that rather than trying to contort yourself mentally to another’s notions.
Fresh off telling you not to put people in predefined boxes I am going to attempt to do just that.
Take it with a pinch of salt and add your own flavor.
Gentle Femdom Relationships
A gentle femdom relationship doesn’t fit into a descriptive box like most other forms of relationship so these are only guidelines.
The female will take up a more authoritative role in the running of the household.
Consensually the male will relinquish responsibility of his partnership to give the female a more dominant role. The male can still be a man, a husband, and a father. He is still free to act like a male and potentially be the provider for the family.
The female assumes the mantle of control and authority. She is tasked with making the household run smoothly.
That’s just the practical aspects though.
The dominant female in the partnership can nurture and control the submissive male in order to improve him, so to speak.
She does not abdicate her femininity but ustileses the male for the good of the partnership. She can take over the finances if desired, and is can even be more dominant sexually but doesn’t have to be.
Gentle femdom relations can be free of conflict, make the household run more smoothly and can end up being more intimate.
The female can be more emotionally expressive without fear of conflict or argument.
The female will attempt to use her authority wisely in order to keep the male from destructive behaviour.
The female can also put her needs above those of the male in order to achieve objects that are considered important to her.
Role Reversal Relationships
Role reversal isn’t an exact set of rules but perhaps more of an ‘umbrella’ term for how the relationship between a man and a woman might work in practice.
Role reversal is a broad term so what follows is a king of ‘framing’ of what might be considered under the term.
In its basic form role reversal is the transposition of male roles and females to the alternate gender.
The female in the relationship behaves more like a male, and the male behaves more like a stereotypical female.
If you try to think about all the very stereotypical traits of each gender and interchange them then you won’t be far wrong.
The woman might come home from work and be the one who has brought flowers for her man. The man might thank her by giving him a quick peck on the cheek.
The woman in the relationship might be the more spontaneous of the two, and take the initiative a lot more often when there is ambiguity.
The man might drop hints to be taken out for a dinner date, and the woman more inclined to set it up and control the evening.
Typically the woman might expect sexual favors for her effort in wining and dining her man.
The woman might ‘take the reins’ in a situation and be insistent on driving and map reading.
While role reversal is about swapping roles the basic components of a relationship remain unchanged. They support and trust between the partners is still needed.
Typically the woman might be the one with the libido and sexual initiative. The man might play more coy and hard to get. The woman might try more often ‘get her way’ sexually and the man might find that he is ‘taken’ by his female.
The woman might take on more household tasks like fixing things than the male, and the man might do more of the cleaning, washing up, cooking, and shopping.
It can even mean that in an embrace the man puts his arms around her neck and the woman holds her man by the hips.
The man might even rest his head in the woman’s chest while cuddling.
I think you get the idea.
It’s not uncommon for any sexual interaction to follow the same formula.
The man can tease his woman by wearing more provocative clothing, suggestive licking, or giggling and bottom wiggling.
The woman might grab her man and bite his neck, pull his hair back, while the man ‘submits’ to her authority and strength of will.
Frankly, there’s no right or wrong answer, just that you perhaps feel more like acting as a member of the opposite sex.
Trying to talk to your partner about the benefits of a female led relationship can be hard. Use this open letter to help or to prompt constructive dialogue.
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