With female led relationships getting ever more common, even if it’s still a discreet private affair, the reasons couples get into them remain basically the same.
The power dynamic goes from an equal weighted partnership to power more tilted in favor of the female, consensually of course. Both the male and the female agree and enjoy this new way of living.
The male gets some freedom from responsibility and the female enhances her own stature.
A female led relationship also has many component parts that are typically present in most whether it’s chores, subservience, or rituals.
The dominant female running the household and ordering the male into chores and errands satisfies the deep psychology behind the dynamic, but kink and the use of erotic domination are the icing on the cake.
It generates the smiles.
Table of Contents
What Is A Kink Ritual?
A good place as any to start, what exactly do I mean by using the phrase ‘kink rituals’?
A ritual has its roots in religion, but a female led relationship ritual is a series of actions performed according to a prescribed order by the submissive male in order to benefit the female dominant. They can be daily, weekly, or monthly, or even have a preconditioned component, like ‘entering the household’.
The idea is that the submissive has actions to perform that are above the mundane of chores. They help the submissive know his place.
So think along the lines of arrival greetings where the submissive must greet the female dominant when she returns home and ask if she requires anything, or something as simple as a morning coffee to be prepared to exact standards.
So kink rituals only differ in a single capacity, they incorporate an element of kink, humiliation or sexual frisson.
What Makes A Good Kink Ritual?
Firstly, both the female dominant and the submissive must in general terms enjoy the activity. The submissive can be lightly humiliated as long as it reinforces the dominance of the female which he enjoys.
They should certainly be fun, maybe spontaneous, and should center around pleasure for the female dominant or light humiliation for the submissive.
They aren’t punishments and should avoid degradation, but the mistress should come up with a ritual that feeds into her likes, and the submissive’s acceptable list of actions, and base it around those.
It should incorporate elements of routine and prescribed and learned actions for the submissive to learn and perform.
It’s advised, so to speak, that the ritual benefits the mistress in some way, and serves a function for her all the while revolving around kink.
Kink Ritual Ideas
So, what are we talking about here?
Whilst the following isn’t an exhaustive list if there is such a thing, but it should give you an idea of what you might want, or spark some creative juices.
So here are some ideas for you, that might peak your interest.
Many women will tell you that unlimited oral pleasure is one of the benefits of the female led relationship, so it’s perfectly possible that it could become a kink ritual.
The dominant female should (I use that word loosely) pick a time whether it’s that Sunday lazy morning, between TV shows, or even the 45 minutes while the chicken is cooking, but make the submissive be humble about asking to give you oral pleasure.
Initially, he might have to be shown your preferences or be ordered to take a shower in preparation, whatever confluence of events the mistress wants to happen.
Some additions could be handcuffed behind his back so he can concentrate on pleasuring the mistress rather than himself and be naked while doing so, even if the mistress is in clothes.
There’s no expectation of the favor being returned.
For example, the mistress might request breakfast in bed every Sunday morning. While she is consuming the meal, the submissive is to shower, shave his face, locate the wrist restraints and wait at the end of the bed until he is needed.
A simple Sunday morning ritual that pleases the mistress and satisfies submissive desires.
A mistress can schedule an appointment with the submissive at set times in order for the submissive to maintain her pubic hair. She needn’t bother with doing it herself but the effect can be extremely kinky.
Maybe after every bath, or maybe during a TV show that needs watching, but again, the mistress schedules the times, routines, and actions that need to be adhered to for the submissive to do his job.
The mistress may decide that she wants her pussy to be immaculate, and well maintained at all times.
The mistress can start by deciding on the look, whether shaven (Brazilian), thin stripped, trimmed length, triangle, bikini line, or more natural but just maintained.
She can also use the sub and the idea of pussy maintenance to try different looks.
The submissive should be prepared properly, well cleaned, and manicured fingernails before going anywhere near the pussy.
The submissive can be given lessons in the following sequence.
- Prepare ( both himself and cleaning the tools)
- Wash (thoroughly clean the area)
- Trim (cut, shave etc)
- Wash and dry
- Exfoliate the area
- Landscape and shape to desired length, shape, etc
The process of maintaining their mistress’ pubic hair in a perfunctory manner with no sexual context produces an atmosphere that can easily be described as kinky.
Insertion into the anus is a time honored kink amongst many within the BDSM community and so it is with female dominated relationships.
It’s ‘unnatural’ in a sense so that makes the act of a mistress inserting or demanding insertion a very submissive act for the male.
Depending upon the level of comfort, quite literally on this occasion, the kink can be extremely light and done occasionally or it can be a fun humiliation, a funishment if you will.
Often there can be parallel psychology behind it and the mistress can emphasize this depending upon what works for the dynamic.
The mistress can task the submissive with wearing a butt plug for shopping trips, days at work, during a specified time period or whenever, or she can create a running theme.
- Every good submissive must have good anal training
- I need you to be able to take things up there
- When I take a lover he may want you too
- I want to try pegging – you need to be trained
In essence, butt plugs are kinky, intrusive, humiliating, and demonstrate amply the ability of the dominant to play with the submissive.
Every woman, let alone a mistress has a collection of fine garments that she treasures. From silk negligees to the sexiest tops they are kept for purposes of seduction and foreplay.
Well, why bother keeping these garments and washing them yourself?
Select the finest soaps, conditioners, and fabric cleaners and make the submissive wash them on a regular basis as if he was cleaning them for royalty.
Exquisite care, meticulous cleaning, and gentle air drying of all the finest things could be his duty now.
Often fits into many a fantasy this one from kink to humiliation it can have something that works well with the dynamic.
The female dominant can do everything from ignoring the work completely till inspection is due to be fully involved with dressing, inspecting the maid and supervising the activating. Whatever suits the couple best really.
If the submissive needs acclimatizing to the proposal it can start small and gradually be incremented until the desired level of kinky play is achieved.
Typically, the female dominant might insist that when certain chores are being performed, the submissive must be wearing appropriate attire. The play can be as intense or as superficial as suits both parties.
The submissive can thus be made to vacuum the household once a week, which must be done in the appropriate maid costume or clean the bathroom, or whatever the mistress pleases quite frankly.
Female dominance is all about deference to the female and the tilted power dynamic, at least in terms of play, and there’s no better demonstration of this than the submissive showing respect and submissiveness.
Goddess worship can take many forms from almost slavish assertions from the submissive to complete attendance to her needs. This can be done over a small or large timeframe depending upon the whims of the femdom and the agreed play between the couple.
Choosing how the goddess should be worshipped is entirely preferential. There can be agreed ‘acts of devotion’ or something can be more spontaneous, as long as it fits the required level of deference.
- Naked and in a humble position reciting an ode
- 100 foot kisses
- Personal beautician
- Prepare a rose petal bath
- Pussy maintenance
- Make him sponge clean mistress while in the shower (plus hair and dry her)
- Prepare everything she needs
There really are too many ideas, as long as the mistress feels worshipped and the submissive feels like he is fulfilling a duty.
A mistress can treat herself to some premium foot care while in a female led relationship.
A simple massage can always be on the cards but why not throw in a whole bunch of extra care for the feet?
Starting with a wash with luxury soaps before moving onto silk towel dried feet, the submissive can progress through oil massages and pedicures to give the ultimate in personal care to his mistress.
It involves servitude, personal care, and the submissiveness that the male will feel in truly serving her needs.
This is a fun kink with a specific goal in mind, thus the submissive can consider himself ‘being trained’ while this kink is working itself out.
Essentially the female dominant will instigate a small fun training program so the male submissive will be able to be stimulated for longer without ejaculating.
A lot of females can worry about doing things like this as it could be viewed ‘as a slight’ against their partner, but many men actually welcome the chance to be trained to please their partner better.
It’s as if the woman who even subtly says she wants her man to ‘last longer’ is demeaning him and she wouldn’t want to do that.
Perhaps counterintuitively a male who desires a female led relationship looks at it quite differently. He could easily view it as carte blanche for the woman to use him so she can be served better and enjoy her sex more.
For a submissive, this can be quite pleasing, so always check, but it could be worth a gamble to try.
The idea is get an idea of how long the submissive can last as a baseline idea, then try different methods and strategies to get him to improve.
It’s always a personal choice but it can be the most effective kink when it’s done in a semi-non-sexual manner. That is, the female dominant isn’t participating as a sexual partner, but more of a scientist/technician.
There are many ideas but the sequence should follow a similar-ish pattern.
- Decide on how he is to be stimulated (masturbated in the shower, vibrating tool, leg humping, CFNM, sex doll etc)
- Do somewhere between 3 to 5 stimulation (average the time) until ejaculation
- Come up with some ways to last longer (thick condoms, delay spray, watching gay porn, reciting a poem, kegel method)
- Do 3 to 5 stimulations with each method and average the time
- Pick the winner
The mistress now has a method for her submissive to last longer and please her better.
Practice Edging Or Ruined Orgasms
A fun kink can be the twin interplay between edging and having a ruined orgasm. It’s a very powerful tool for a female dominant in a relationship.
As a brief description, edging is when the male is stimulated till the point of orgasm, when the stimulating is stopped, the excitement dies down a bit, and then is restarted. The submissive male is kept in a perpetual ‘about to orgasm’ phase but never released.
A ruined orgasm is the practice of deliberately stopping the stimulation and the male ejaculates but doesn’t get an orgasm. Hence the name, ruined orgasm.
A female dominant may want to practice both these techniques to more formidably control her submissive.
I am sure you can see where I am going with this.
Any phallic representation might do from a cucumber to a banana but the kink can take place in many formats.
It could be a morning ritual where the submissive has to ‘kiss the dildo’, and perhaps recite an ode.
Something like “I pledge to live up to your ideal of pleasuring my mistress” should do the trick.
Or maybe the female dominant wants to wear it in a harness and
Some have suction cups so you can attach them to glass, clean surfaces, or even the fridge. Or mirrors,
With this kind of scenario, a whole host of ideas comes to mind
- place in the bathroom and make him take it in his mouth and show photo proof every time he goes
- near his bed so there are 5 quick sucks as he gets up and goes to bed
- on the fridge door so he has to kiss it every time he opens the fridge door
The ideas are just too numerous.
Trying to talk to your partner about the benefits of a female led relationship can be hard. Use this open letter to help or to prompt constructive dialogue.