Do you identify as a female dominant, or perhaps a submissive partner in a female-led relationship (FLR)?
If so, you might already be familiar with the excitement and pleasure that can come from exploring BDSM activities such as bondage, discipline, dominance, and submission.
But have you ever considered incorporating abandonment play into your FLR?
Although it can mean that the submissive is left alone, sometimes out of punishment, there’s another alternative that I’d like to bring your attention to.
That of 100% mistress focused play, guilt free if you will.
In essence, it might be the abandonment of pretense, a play where the submissive becomes nothing more than a pawn.
This kink can be an incredibly powerful tool for female dominants to assert their power and deepen their connection with their submissive partner.
By pushing their boundaries and exploring their dominant side, they can feel empowered and in control of the relationship. Meanwhile, the submissive partner can experience a deep sense of trust and vulnerability, and feel a sense of liberation from their everyday lives as they fully submit to their partner’s desires.
A true immersion into submission.
It’s not without its cons though.
In this article, we’ll explore why abandonment play can be such a potent kink for FLRs, and how you can safely and consensually incorporate it into your BDSM routine.
So whether you’re a seasoned pro or a curious beginner, keep reading to discover the depths of submission that abandonment play can offer.
OK, So What Is Abandonment Play?
I have my own definition, that works for us.
Abandonment play is a BDSM activity, normally associated with being abandoned, but can mean where the submissive partner willingly gives up all control to their dominant partner, with the dominant partner’s pleasure being the sole focus.
It’s a consensual activity that is agreed upon beforehand by both partners, with boundaries and safe words established to ensure that everyone involved is comfortable and safe throughout the experience.
Usually, it’s associated with sexual desire, and it’s consensual permission for the mistress to give into lust, and treat the submissive as some sort of living sex toy.
The dominant partner has complete control over the submissive’s physical and emotional experience, and the submissive partner becomes a mere pawn in pursuing the dominant partner’s desires.
Safe words are the only barrier and everything is ramped up 100%.
Language gets more assertive in perfect coordination of the lust of the mistress.
So it’s best done in small doses, or scenes agreed to.
The female dominant can take pleasure in having complete control over their partner’s experience, with the submissive partner acting as a mere pawn in pursuit of her desires.
It’s important to remember that abandonment play isn’t for everyone and should only be pursued with partners who have established a high level of trust and communication.
Very high, in fact.
Both partners should establish clear boundaries and safe words beforehand to ensure that everyone involved is comfortable and safe throughout the experience.
Resistance play can be incorporated, that is the submissive makes a move to resist, either physically or verbally but the female dominant, unless safe words are used, tramples over his protestations, again, whether verbally or physically.
However, for those who are interested in exploring the depths of submission and power exchange, abandonment play can be an incredibly rewarding experience.
How Abandonment Play Works?
Abandonment play is an area of play that can be consensually agreed upon beforehand in a female-led relationship.
The goal is to focus 100% on the pleasure of the female dominant, done by the female hastily pursuing her lust.
It can be short and brief, as long as the power dynamic is fully tilted in the dominants favor for a brief moment.
To get started, the female dominant and submissive partner need to have an open discussion about their desires and boundaries for abandonment play. The dominant partner may express the desire to have complete control over the submissive’s experience, with the submissive partner willingly giving up all power and control.
The submissive partner might express the desire to experience a deep sense of submission and surrender, to be completely under control, with the female dominant taking pleasure in the scenario, both in the moment and psychologically in the long term.
Both female and males might enjoy resistance play and agree that the female dominant can roughly trample all over them.
Imagine a couple, having previously agreed that this type of play is OK, that the female dominant will announce it, that resistance play is allowed, but only safe words will protect him, thus at all times the submissive must be able to speak.
A safe and consensual way for the female dominant to give in to her lust, but agreed by the submissive.
During a relaxing foot massage the female dominant not only becomes relaxed, but more aroused. It doesn’t always happen but she starts to feel very aroused, she recognizes lust taking over, a burning desire to experience an orgasm.
She says “Abandonment play” out loud to convey her coming intent. The submissive knows that she is about to ruthlessly seek her own pleasures. they have agreed a little resistance play is acceptable and fun, so he prepares himself for a brief intense spell.
They previously decided that a range of things are acceptable, from pegging to other forms of desire. The submissive waits until the mistress decides on her method of pleasure.
The mistress demands “Get on the floor, face up now”
She hitches up her skirt and hastily removes her underwear *For f**ks sake, move FASTER” she bellows; She is starting to straddle him while he is getting comfortable.
The submissive tries a bit of resistance, a need to preserve some self respect. Not now mistress” he retorts, and makes an effort to physically halt her advance.
The mistress knows this is resistance play as no safe words have been used.
She smacks his hands away, fully straddles him, “”I don’t give a f**k, get licking right f**king now, and make it good”
I think you can get the idea of what should be happening, the method is the same.
If the female dominant had wanted to peg their submissive they’d have ripped off their clothes, manhandled them into position, and be roughly taking their submissive to levels of conquest not seen in a while.
The Power Dynamics of Abandonment: Why It Can Strengthen Your FLR
This type of play can be intense, without doubt about who is in control.
The female utterly dominates the moment, thus creating an intensely submissive interaction for the male.
It’s an area of play that can create a deep routed sense of submission for the submissive partner and dominance for the dominant partner.
But, how can it strengthen your FLR?
Well, brief moments of heightened power exchange can create a solid foundation of trust and submission in a relationship.
There is utter trust in the female dominant. The surrender leads to implicit trust in the relationship.
Moreover, abandonment play can be a source of emotional release for both partners. For the submissive partner, giving up control and being at the mercy of their dominant partner can be incredibly cathartic.
And for the dominant partner, having complete control over their partner’s experience can be a source of immense pleasure and emotional release.
The Risks and Rewards of Abandonment Play
As with any form of BDSM play, abandonment play comes with its own set of risks and rewards.
It’s important to understand both before engaging in this type of play in a female-led relationship.
One of the main risks of abandonment play is emotional harm.
It’s essential that both the dominant and submissive partners establish clear boundaries and safe words beforehand, and that the dominant partner remains attentive to the needs and comfort level of their submissive partner throughout the experience.
Aftercare becomes even more important than ever, a mistress must check in, or at least give the submissive some emotional time to ‘recover’.
Without these precautions, abandonment play can quickly become dangerous or overwhelming for the submissive partner.
Another risk of abandonment play is the potential for breaking the trust between partners. This type of play requires a high level of trust between the dominant and submissive partners, which can be easily broken if either partner violates established boundaries or safe words.
This can lead to feelings of resentment and damage the relationship.
However, if done with care and attention, abandonment play can be an incredibly rewarding experience for both partners.
The key to safely engaging in abandonment play is to communicate openly, establish clear boundaries and safe words, and prioritize the emotional and physical well-being of both partners.
Abandonment play allows the dominant partner to fully indulge in their desires and for the submissive partner to surrender control completely.
However, it’s essential to approach this type of play with caution and care to avoid emotional harm or damaging the trust between partners.
The key to successfully incorporating abandonment play into a female-led relationship is open communication, no mere mealy mouthed warning, that, you really do have to be on the same page.
When done properly, this type of play can strengthen the bond between partners and provide an intense and satisfying addition to their dynamic.
So, if you’re a female dominant interested in exploring your desires and deepening your power exchange dynamic with your consenting submissive partner, consider incorporating abandonment play into your relationship.
By following proper precautions and communicating openly, you can experience the rewards and thrill of this type of play while maintaining a strong and healthy relationship.
Trying to talk to your partner about the benefits of a female led relationship can be hard. Use this open letter to help or to prompt constructive dialogue.
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