When it comes to relationships, society tends to expect that monogamy is the only acceptable choice.
But more and more couples are quietly exploring open relationships and non-monogamy. What used to be seen as taboo is becoming a bit more, well, normal.
Arrangements like cuckolding, hotwifing, or swapping allow partners to ethically get some sexual or emotional needs met outside their main relationship.
And it seems like interest in these dynamics is growing, especially among younger folks who have more open attitudes about relationships. With the internet, it’s easier to learn about and find communities that are into non-traditional relationships.
So are cuckold relationships common?
While hard statistics are limited, studies suggest cuckolding is not extremely common but also far from rare, with one survey finding that around 3% of men have participated in the practice.
But here’s the thing – we don’t really know exactly how many couples are actually practicing ethical non-monogamy.
After all, it’s still pretty stigmatized in many circles.
The statistics on how common cuckolding and open relationships really are is pretty sparse.
In this article, I want to go over the limited data out there, talk about why more couples seem drawn to it, and hopefully get readers to question assumptions we often make about how relationships “should” work.
There’s a lot we still don’t understand about the complexities of human desire!
Increased visibility and understanding is important – it can only help enrich our conversations on intimacy, trust, and fulfillment when it comes to relationships.
Table of Contents
What Are Cuckolding Relationships?
So when people talk about “open relationships” or “cuckolding”, what do they really mean?
Basically, open relationships are when a couple decides to open things up and let each other have intimate or sexual relationships with other people.
The choice that makes the female more preferential, is called a cuckold relationship.
Cuckolding is one type of open relationship.
It’s when one partner, the male gets excitement out of watching their female lover hook up with someone else – often called the “bull”.
The cuckold partner may get off on feeling jealous or “humiliated” by their partner’s escapades. But again, everything is totally consensual.
Other versions of non-monogamy are things like “hotwifing” or wife swapping between couples.
There are lots of flavors, but it’s all based on consent, self-awareness, and good communication between everyone involved.
Folks who are into these dynamics will say it satisfies desires or needs that aren’t getting met in the main relationship.
Done with empathy, it can even strengthen the core bond.
The common thread is being open-minded about monogamy and possession when it comes to your partner’s heart or body. There’s more focus on freedom, communication, and radical trust.
Why Do People Pursue These Dynamics?
Folks decide to try non-monogamy for all kinds of reasons. Here are some of the big ones:
Sometimes you just feel torn between your urges and your loyalty, you know?
Long-term relationships can lose their spark.
Dipping a toe in swinging, hotwifing or cuckolding can be a way to spice things up again. Having some novelty and variety in sexual partners keeps the passion alive and ultimately strengthens the bond.
Get this – some couples find that sharing the vulnerability around jealousy or trust actually brings them closer emotionally and sexually. Watching your partner with someone else can be intimacy-building for some.
For cuckolds, seeing your lover be wanted by another dude can be a major ego boost.
It’s like “yeah, other people want what I have!”
Being open forces couples to communicate better and gain insight into themselves and each other. Their relationship skills level up.
While it’s not for everyone, fans of ethical non-monogamy believe it can empower couples. The focus becomes radical consent, trust, and freedom to be yourselves. And that’s beautiful.
Signs of Increasing Acceptance
Even though cuckolding relationships are still taboo to some folks, there are signs they’re starting to become more visible and even acceptable.
But we gotta take the statistics with a grain of salt. Because of the stigma, people may not be totally honest about their lifestyle.
In one survey, about 21% of people said they’d tried some kind of ethical non-monogamy before. Other studies guess that 4-5% of Americans are in open or polyamorous relationships currently.
When it comes to cuckolding specifically, one study found 2.7% of men had participated before.
Pop culture is showing non-traditional relationships more now too.
Shows like “You Me Her” explore polyamory.
Celebrities like Will Smith have opened up about openness in their marriages.
So while we don’t have rock solid statistics, ethical non-monogamy doesn’t seem super rare anymore.
The numbers we do have probably underestimate how many people are experimenting, since some may not wanna admit it.
But there does seem to be a small yet growing trend – especially among the younger folks.
The increased visibility shows that as a society, we’re getting more open-minded about different relationship styles that work.
With better sex ed and evolving social norms, consensual non-monogamy might keep emerging from the shadows. And that’s pretty cool.
So based on the limited data out there, open and cuckold relationships seem to be growing, especially among younger and sexually progressive folks – even if the numbers are still small.
It’s hard to pin down exact stats though, since these dynamics are taboo to many.
But the data we do have suggests millions are exploring ethical non-monogamy.
People pursue it to satisfy desires, spice things up, or connect more deeply.
Now clearly, this lifestyle isn’t for everyone. It takes awesome communication, brutal honesty, trust, and constantly reworking your boundaries as a couple.
Stuff like jealousy and insecurity come up and need to be worked through.
But the fact that society is getting more open to discussing non-traditional relationships is progress in my book.
With more understanding and nuanced sex ed, maybe we can move past possessiveness and accept that human sexuality is diverse.
We still need more research to fully understand how prevalent and impactful open dynamics like cuckolding are.
But based on what we know so far, interest goes beyond just an edgy fringe thing. As views on relationships evolve, ethical non-monogamy has potential to empower couples.
Trying to talk to your partner about the benefits of a female led relationship can be hard. Use this open letter to help or to prompt constructive dialogue.