Using A Smartphone To Dominate Your Submissive – A Mistress Guide

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The advantage of smartphones has been a boost to just about everyone on planet earth. They’ve brought news to the deepest regions of the Amazon, and connect millions of people with common hobbies around the globe.

In the last 10 years the boom has sprung from nowhere and everyone has been affected by it. Advertisers now target users, and teenagers can spend their entire day on them.

For social activities, work practices and relationships they have been nothing but a boon.

The BDSM scene has seen an increase in cyber domination and many a submissive man pays for the experience of feeling out of control.

a sexy blonde mistress looking up

So it’s no surprise that those into femdom, or any form of female led relationship can take advantage of the technology that has developed.

Both to serve the mistress and to control the submissive.

First Get A Seperate App For Your Femdom

No doubt in your smartphone you have many apps on the homepage. Most phones are amassed with them.

Almost all will have some sort of messaging app, whether it’s facebook messenger, whats app, or viber. There are plenty of them.

You probably want a different app for the exclusive use of your femdom relationship.

To prevent accidental texting, and to keep your female led relationship secure from prying eyes you should consider getting an app that hides away on the phone, and you can have mistress and submissive chat to each other without accidentally messaging the wrong person.

a mistress in sexy underwear holding smartphone

The submissive should check regularly for instructions, say 4 times a day, when he gets to work, midday, an hour before he leaves, and when he leaves work to check for incoming instructions.

Incidentally, Signal Private Messenger is a free app endorsed by Edward Snowden.

Public Femdom Is Now Easier

Traditionally female led relationships were only available to be monitored and maintained when the dominant and the submissive were together.

The advent of the smartphone has changed all that. It’s now possible to be in contact with someone nearly all the time.

Not great if you want some time alone, but a godsend for a mistress.

a mistress taking a selfie

Now, not only is he available to receive instructions, but you can also indulge in cyber domination any time the mistress feels like it.

In simple terms, your submissive can be made to ‘be your bitch’ at any time.

What it can also be used for is giving detailed instructions in the public sphere. While wandering around a mall it’s not necessary, as a mistress can speak reasonably freely, or at least whisper in the submissive’s ear.

However, there are many social occasions, parties, friendly gatherings, and even when in the company of close friends that mistress can make a signal, like the ubiquitous phone hand signal for the submissive to check his messages.

She can text him instructions about his conduct, or actions to take with ease. And even from a distance.

a mistress on the floor with a smartphone

The Submissive Is NEVER Out Of Reach

The important point about all this is that a mistress has 100% access to the submissive’s attention, and instructions can be made at any time, even from great distances. Location is never an issue.

From a mistress point of view you can instruct the submissive in a whole new way. It entirely takes away their privacy. You can contact them at work, whenever they are away.

You can request what they are doing. Get them to report in, take a photo to prove things or even send a quick facetime video conference to give them an instruction.

A good standing order for a mistress is to give the submissive the instruction that he is to always keep his phone on them and check regularly for messages. I’d additionally suggest that he is to always keep it charged, so they are 100% reachable, 100% of the time.

a mistress in the bathroom with a smartphone

Punishments can be dished out for a battery phone dying, or an unreachable submissive, as they should ensure this never happens.

How To Use Texting For A Mistress

Firstly it’s probably important to make the statements formal, brief and succinct so there’s no confusion.

So avoid caveats, could, would, it’d be nice if type statements.

A quick tip is to make a statement, then add the appropriate instruction.

So don’t text “hi babe, wondered if you could pop in to the mall after work, and pick up some batteries”

Much better would be “The TV remote batteries have died. Make sure we have them for tonight when I watch TV”

That’s a simple statement and instruction. It sounds more formal and instructive, like something that should be obeyed. 

a mistress in the bedroom with a smartphone

When talking in natural conversation it would be important to convey poise and tone in the delivery of instructions, but with tests, that isn’t necessary.

As a few quick tip though;

Drop the please and thank you – A mistress shouldn’t need to say please as a submissive should get on with the instruction. Thank you also conveys gratitude, that you don’t need to share. 

Drop would / could / can etc – Don’t turn an instruction into a question. ‘My coat needs dry cleaning, get it done at the weekend’ is very different from ‘my coat in dirty, can you get it cleaned at the weekend”

It gives an opportunity for a negative response. Don’t allow that to happen.

Drop I think / I thought – In a similar vein this invites discussion by not making it a statement. “I thought you were disrespectful at the party” is less authoritative than “you were disrespectful at the party”

Don’t overexplain – Don’t prequalify or rationalize your desires as if you feel the need for the submissive to understand your request. Make a statement, and then issue an instruction.

a mistress in the bathroom on a smartphone

You are the mistress and don’t need his approval or understanding for what you desire to happen.

Be brief – While you may want a conversation in order to be better informed about a desire or course of action, once you have decided, cut discussion short and issue your request.

Don’t caveat anything – a caveat essentially gives the submissive a huge get out clause from your desires.

Caveats like;

  • If work isn’t busy get some milk on the way home
  • If you don’t run into traffic we need some coffee
  • I need a foot rub if you aren’t tired when you get back

If the submissive forgets the coffee it will be because he ran into traffic.

Stop things like that dead by just not caveating the request.

a mistress in the bathroom on a smartphone

Keep it simple. Statement, instruction.

We are out of coffee, get some before you come back.

Some Phone Rules And Tips

As mentioned previously, perhaps the first rule ought to be that your submissive must carry his smartphone on him at all times, with sufficient battery power. Don’t allow excuses for a ‘battery died’ scenario.

It’s his job to come up with a solution, of which there are many. A power bank, battery recharge management skills, recharge in the car every drive, even a 2nd phone to swap sims in an emergency. There is no reason for the submissive not to be 100% reachable at any time of the day.

If you ring, or text and he isn’t online quickly enough, and there is no reason why he shouldn’t be then a mistress can add punishments for not being available when requested.

Something along the lines of “I messaged you at 11am and didn’t get a reply till 4pm – not good enough”.

The reason you want his phone always fully charged is that as a mistress you want to install one of those family tracker apps on your submissive’s phone. Essentially this allows one phone (mistress’) to track the location of the other (submissive’s) but not the other way around.

a mistress on the bed on a smartphone

This means that a mistress can always see where her submissive is. If the submissive is always to have it on him, his location is always known.

Another good rule is to forbid your submissive from deleting browsing history and using any form of incognito mode. Your submissive must also relinquish a password so you have access to the phone.

This way upon request the submissive can hand over the phone for inspection, and as a mistress she can get into it,, and check browsing history and other things.

If for any reason he changes his pass code or deletes the history without approval a punishment can ensue and be harsh as he is keeping things from his mistress. A deliberately disloyal act.

A mistress can also make use of the recorded voice feature of many apps. Press the record button, issue and instruction or command with a timeframe if need be and let the submissive sort out the solution and task.

A mistress can make sure the submissive is being watched all the time by sending regular text something to the tune of “send me details of what you are doing”. The sub will then have to text back with a report.

No escape.

a mistress talking on a smartphone

Alternatively it’s possible to set an order so that the submissive has to ‘clock in’ with the mistress when he arrives, at lunch time, an hour before he leaves, and as he leaves. Mistress can then decide if he should collect anything on the way back home, or any other instruction she feels like he should perform.

Kinks and Humiliations By Smartphone

While telling your sub to get milk on the way home is all well, and good, it’s not exactly the most fun you can have with a submissive and a smartphone.

A smartphone with livestaming, cameras and locations that can be shared turns the world of mistress domination into a world of fun.

If they are at work, check they are available for a tasking, as you don’t want to genuinely affect their professional work.

a mistress in sexy underwear holding smartphone on bed

No need to limit yourself to these but feel free to experiment;

Location sending – You can send your submissive to a location and check they are there with the family tracing app or location sharing. At any time of day or night. Once he is there you can get him to perform tasks like remove his trousers and walk around, or get himself erect and take a photo.

Demand picture proof – You can send your submissive to work in panties, or suspenders and get them to send picture proof several times a day.

BJ a banana or dildo – Make them keep a banana or a real dildo available at all times. At any time you feel like it tell them to isolate themselves and face time with you. Instruct them to give a BJ to the item and make them deep throat it. You can even make them talk sexily to it if you like.

Nude selfie – Much fun can be had with this one. If they are at work they are to remove their clothes in a restroom cubicle, grip their manhood and take selfies. Or you could send them into some woods with a feminization parcel, tell them to get nude and send a selfie. Then put on the female sexy gear, take another one.

a mistress is being kissed by her sub

Booty twerking – Get him twerking for a video wherever you like and video it, then send you the video.

Silk panty pictures – Give him a selection of panties and tell him which one you want to see him wearing and take photos. Keep it up all day.

Location jerk off –  Send him to somewhere isolated and tell him to face time. He can then stand away from the phone while you watch him jerk off naked.

Suspender, panties jerk off – Have him either wearing some sexy female attire, or make him put them on before asking for a video of him masturbating. Make it live if you want and record it. Or even make him keep the soiled clothing on as he returns.

a mistress in white tight top

Butt plug fun – A mistress can send the sub to work with it in, and request regular photo proof, or get the sub to video themselves inserting it, whenever, and at whatever location the mistress can think of.

Go to the gym for an hour – Alternatively, make him go to the gym as a humiliation.

There’s certainly plenty of scope, so just use your imagination, and if it sounds fun to instruct your submissive from the comfort of your couch while he dances and humiliates himself, then by all means, go ahead.

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