As a domme you will probably dish out plenty of rewards and punishments, however there is another potential arsenal up your sleeve.
That of humiliation. Depending Upon your subs disposition it can also be a little bit of a punishment, but also maybe a little pleasurable.
Which category it falls into will largely depend upon who carries it out and who performs the instruction. Everyone is different.
Humiliation can often be confused with degradation, but it isn’t. There is a difference.
Humiliation – a small instruction that causes embarrassment
Degradation – The deliberate debasement and attempt to dehumanize the sub.
In essence, with humiliation you are not attempting to make the sub feel beneath contempt, you are just using embarrassment to correct or temporarily punish an infraction.
The list I have compiled is largely a private affair, you won’t find any public flogging or acts of extreme humiliation.
Some humiliation tasks can be used as light punishments, but others can be used to coerce. Getting out a baby rattle and giving it a quick shake, reminding him that he can be made to sit there like a baby, can fully focus the mind.
TIP – It is sometimes good to apply the humiliation to the crime. If he has acted like a baby, give him a baby humiliation, if he spoke over you then try a denial of speech humiliation.
So with that, let’s get into them, and ever please feel free to adapt as you see fit.
Baby treatment – plenty of things you can do with this one. With some props like a baby rattle, an adult diaper, and some baby food along with a baby milk bottle, you can make a variety of baby related humiliations. Rattle when he wants to pee, feed him baby food, sit watching a movie in diapers, or drink baby milk all day from a bottle.
Collar – Get a collar, and when he has been disobedient, feel free to place it on him. There’s a tremendous sense of the loss of freedom with a collar. We place collars on pets that we own for example. Get one with a shackle, and get a lead. You can tie the lead to something to make him stay in one place, like the sink if he’s washing up.
Humping a pillow – Get him in a state of undress, and add some sexy female underwear if you like, but place a pillow near your feet as you sit on the couch. Make him lie down with his manhood on the pillow. Now make him hump it while you watch.
Forced feminization – Depending upon how far you want to go, he will need a set of female clothes, and maybe you could even go shopping with him for them. He will need a nice sexy set of underwear, some stockings and garter belts, a bra and skirt and blouse. Get him into whatever combination you feel like, but make him do the washing up, or polish tables in this type of gear. Also consider a french maid outfit for him for cleaning.
Foot worship – You can make him kiss your feet at any time, or demand a foot rub. Make him do press ups and kiss your feet chanting a quick oath if you like. Alternatively, get him manicuring your toenails and polish them.
Ass worship – Get into some appropriate sexy underwear and make him massage, kiss and lick your butt cheeks. If you like it, get him to flick his tongue around your anus. Don’t let him touch himself.
CFNM – This stands for Clothed Female Naked Male, which is pretty self explanatory. However, you can apply it to ordinary tasks to make it humiliating. Watch a movie together while he is naked, or wash up together, while he is naked. Or even a game of cards. No sexual activity, just being naked emphasises your authority.
Meticulous cleaning – You can take any object, but he is to clean it way above what would normally be considered normal. Take a bathroom sink, and get him to wash it down, clean it with a toothbrush before applying layers of cleaner, several times, and male it as shiny as possible. Use cotton wool and silver polish for the taps. Use a cotton bud to check for dirt and smears.
Handwash lingerie – Get your sexiest gear together and make him wash it by hand. Silk should be rubbed with cotton wool, and washed with the softest conditioners. Then he should dry it by hair dryer and finally air dry it. Get a dust cover to maintain its pristine status.
Waitress service – Get him into a waitress outfit and make him cook you dinner. Make him lay out the table for one, like a restaurant, and serve you till you are finished.
Maid service – Get him into a maid outfit and get him to vacuum the house, or clean the table.
Face slap – This is an immediate response humiliation, and needs to be authorised as acceptable chastising behaviour. If you feel disrespected, then you might consider a quick and swift slap. Nothing quite shocks the system like it. Get him on his knees as if he is grovelling, explain why you did it and make him apologise.
Corner – Take him back to his school days, and make him face the corner and stand there. You can add extra humiliation by adding time and clothing. A small indiscretion, like being a bit late or not quick enough might be 20 minutes in the corner. Something you judge to be more serious might be 2 hours, in a negligee and panties.
Toilet permission – Whenever he needs to go to the toilet, he must ask your permission. This is a time out humiliation normally, and might last for a day or so. Occasionally saying no, rather than yes all the time adds some humiliation as he is asking permission for a basic function. You can always make him drink a few liters of water regularly in conjunction with this one.
Manhood abuse – Calling out the size of his manhood, or ridiculing him for it while naked can still be quite effective. You could always try measuring it again to see if it has grown since last time. Or rubbing in some kind of plant food to see if it grows.
Sex shop shopping – Many people still find this a bit embarrasing. Especially the more obscure the item. Going in for condoms is probably an easy task, but some KY jelly, and a dildo he might be more apprehensive about. It can be quite effective as it can be a very private affair to most. Giving him a warning like ‘don’t make me make you go into a sex shop and ask for a lingerie and bra set in your size?’ will often provoke a task to be performed.
Desensitizing spray – Get some desentizing spray and get him hard. Give him a good spray, until he is thoroughly desensitized. It’s often called delay spray, and takes some time to have an effect. You can then tease him with some masturbation and ask why he can’t ejaculate, or actually have sex and hopefully he won’t be able to release. Once you have orgasmed, stop.
Anal plugs – A good set of butt plugs to insert can be used when you so feel. He can either walk around with one in, go out with one in and show proof via pictures, or you can make him go to work with one in.
Public humiliation – A lot of tasks or requirements can make this an effective humiliation tool. Get him to drive somewhere naked from the waist down, or go into the chemists with a pretty girl and ask for a box of condoms in extra small.
Chastity – With the help of a little chastity device, you can lock him up and deny him an erect penis. You can either specify a length of time he has to be a good boy, in order to be released or you can use it as a tease. Watch an erotic movie together and stroke his thigh, or make him watch a few porn videos.
Suntan marks – A favorite is to get him to only his underwear, put a bra on him and make him get a suntan. If it’s the wrong time of year, you can make him visit a tanning salon and perform it, or rent one out. In the privacy of your own home, you might want to do the whole bikini suntan.
Sleep in lingerie – Before bedtime, get him naked and into some panties, garter belt, stockings, bra and a silk camisole. Make him sleep in it.
Cut up food – Whenever, a meal is prepared, before serving, cut up his meal into little pieces like you would a small child. If appropriate, feed him little bits as you eat.
Speech denial – Take away his right to speak, and spread this as far as you like. He can’t answer his phone, outside he has to look at you for permission before he can speak to someone and in the home he has to raise his hand to be able to speak.
Training bra – Get a training bra and some padded inserts. Put it under a t-shirt or sweater. Done correctly it will look like he has a pair of breasts. With this you can go out in public for a walk, or make it an amusing side tease. Get him washing up, and walk up behind him and start fondling his breasts. You can always mention your strapon requires a titwank.
Dry humping – While this can be a pleasurable activity in it’s own right, it can be used to make a domme’s sexual proactivity more authoritative. When he is washing, up or doing one of his chores, you can walk up behind him and start fondling his bottom. You can then bend him over and tap kick his legs apart a bit and then bang and grind your hips into him as if you were going for it doggystyle. Alternatively, place him up against a window and do the same.
Soap in the mouth – Get him to open wide and place a bar of soap in his mouth. Make him carry it around while he is doing other stuff.
Toothbrush cleaning – Pick a reasonably large item, like a microwave and make him clean it thoroughly with a toothbrush. Inside and out.
Make fake cum – Get him to research online and find a realistic recipe and make it. Make him lick it off your fingers. Or your underwear.
BJ training – Get a dildo with a suction cup on it, preferably a realistic looking one and get him to kneel in front of the fridge. Suction cup the dildo the door, and make him do BJ practice. Stand over him if you must and get him deep throating and really going for it. Tell him you will hire him out if you like. To really add some humiliation drip some fake cum down the shaft after he’s been at it a while. Make him swallow it.
Pussy dessert – Get a realistic vagina and make him practice giving a woman oral sex. Effective while you are at the dining table and you want to see he knows how to perform before he can eat his dinner. Again, you can drip some fake cum in there and make him clean it properly.
High heel worship – While you are sitting down, get some high heels on and get him to kneel next to you. You want some serious sucking and licking of the heel.
Supervised masturbation – Set some time to get him naked and erect. Don’t let him take charge, but tell him how to masturbate himself. When to go faster, when to go slower etc.
Gay porn masturbation – Sit him to sit down naked in front of a TV or a laptop. Get some gay porn on it, and masturbate him yourself. Use your feminine wiles to excite him while you play with him. When he ejeculates, he has just done so to gay porn.
Juicy ice cubes – Get two ice cube trays and half fill them with water. Then freeze them half full. Get him to masturbate with a condom and keep the cum. Get him to give you oral until you orgasm. On one set of half ice cubes smear his ecajulate, and on the other smear your juices. Freeze, then fill up with water and refreeze. You now have some cum cubes. Use them when you see fit.
Cum eating – This can make most men wince a bit so it’s an effective tool for coercive action. Get him into a frilly pair of panties and masturbate him so he ejeculates inside the panties. Scoop out his seed and drop it onto his tongue.
Watching you orgasm – Put him in a chair opposite the bed, and get a little frisky on the bed. Maststurbate yourself and really pleasure yourself. He might need tying up, and you can put him in a cage if you like.
Handbag carrying – Make him carry your handbag around when you go outside. From the time you leave the house to the time you get back he is to carry it around. Over the shoulder if he can.
High heel wearing – Get him a pair of heels teach him to walk around in them and make him walk around in them. Or try strappy sandals, or boots and stockings. Any footwear that is essentially feminine.
Perfume – Don’t let him go out smelly manly. If you are going out, no deodorant or aftershave. What he needs is a strong smell of perfume.
Lingerie set – Get him his own lingerie set. Panties, bra, stockings and negligee. Put him in them whenever you like, or make him sleep in them.
Naughty step – Have a specific step on the stairs which you call the naughty step. Make him sit on it for a specific amount of time until you feel he has learned a lesson.
Controlled Peeing – For a specified amount of time he is not allowed to go to the toilet and pee without supervision. You can either stand next to him and make him sit down, or you can grab his manhood and pee for him.
Window humiliation – You can incorporate a few ideas here. He can either wear a bra and stand next to the window for a time, or you can get him to masturbate onto the glass. Or you could get him naked and strapon him with him up against a window. You can vary it by picking a window with more or less public view.
Blow up doll – Get him a blow up doll, and if you like some sexy clothes for it. You can then make him give it oral sex, or make him have sex with it on the floor.
Cum olympics – preferably do this one on a lino floor, but get him naked and place a small hoop some meters away. Get him to amsturbate and the ejeculate into the hoop. If he misses you can make him clean it up. You can alter this with ‘over a bar’, or speed in order for him to set records, or personal bests at least.
Stripper dance – Get him into stripper gear, play the music and make him go through the dance, as if he were in a bar. Female stripper gear, if you prefer.
Early bedtime – It is quite humiliating for a grown man to be told to go to bed, so you can tell him he will be going to bed early as a way of coercive behaviour. Tucking him into bed at 8pm will give him plenty of time to reflect.
Forced exercise – The army uses snap physical exercise to take the edge off disobedient recruits challenges to authority, so why shouldn’t you. Make press ups and sit ups something he has to do when you require. Stand over him and count them to completion. Make his press ups a bit harder by placing a foot on his back and providing resistance or helping him to the floor.
Walk home – When you are an appropriate distance from home, make him walk home.
Adult coloring book – Get some crayons and an adult coloring book. While it can be used for therapeutic reasons, forcing him to do it, like a child, isn’t what he prefers to be doing.
Pee spray – Getting a water spray gun and spraying it around his crotch, so it looks like he has peed himself will make him a little wary.
Dinner server – Make him make you dinner and serve it like a butler or professional waiter, before he has his dinner.
Schoolboy / Schoolgirl clothing – Before he needs to learn something or he needs to be told something important that you think he really needs to learn, then get him into schoolboy or schoolgirl clothes, and sit him down. Treat him like he is in junior high.
Pointless chore – There are plenty of these like counting the coffee granules in a jar, or rice in a cup. Count the stitching on a set of drapes, anything as long as it is completely unnecessary but time consuming.
Begging – Make him beg for anything that he wants. To go to the toilet, a cup of coffee to watch a game. Anything he is thinking about doing, make him kneel in front of you and beg.
Strapon BJ – Get on a strapon harness and sit on the couch. Make him crawl across the floor, wiggling his bottom and then make him give you oral. Get him to do all the things you’ve been asked to do.
Garter underwear – In the morning get him naked from the waist down. Make him put on some stockings and then a garter belt. Clip him up and then tell him to put his work clothes on above the new sexy legwear.
Trying to talk to your partner about the benefits of a female led relationship can be hard. Use this open letter to help or to prompt constructive dialogue.