Is It OK To Crave an Extreme FLR?

posted in: Femdom, General, Guides | 2

Female dominant relationships come in many different shapes and sizes. There’s a spectrum of submissiveness, and most men will fit and nicely slot within it.

However, a small subsection of men truly desire total submissiveness, the female dominant to run the relationship with total control.

It’s not for everyone and no one should enter this lifestyle blindly, but for many, it can be a compelling and exciting path to take.

Be warned, it’s not for the faint of heart.

It’s more a lifestyle preference than mere casual play.

In the tapestry of relationships, desires, and dynamics weave a pattern unique to each individual, but some men find the allure of complete control more captivating than most.

Thus, the allure of an extreme FLR beckons, igniting curiosity and challenging stereotypes.

But, what happens when one yearns for a level of submission that transcends the ordinary? Well, this article will delve into exactly that.

a female dominant has submissive on a leash

What Is an Extreme FLR

An extreme FLR is probably characterized by the female partner assuming a role that transcends traditional expectations, evolving into a matriarchal figure with an unprecedented degree of control.

The male, by contrast, is ‘under her thumb’, and lives under her guidance, in almost all areas.

It will mean different things to different people, but in an extreme FLR, there is much less autonomy for the male.

In this style of FLR, the power dynamic is not merely a subtle undercurrent but a deliberate and pronounced intrusion into decisions made for the male.

The female often makes personal decisions for the male interfering wherever she has preferences. Her personal needs are met at all times, the male can become a functioning tool for her amusement or pleasure.

Any infraction can be dealt with harshly, and utter obedience without question is more normal.

a domianant wrestles with submissive male

How an Extreme FLR Might Function

So how practically might an extreme FLR play out in real life?

Well there’s no definitive answer to that, as each couple has to figure out what it means for them, but typically it might involve the following:

Financial Decisions: The female would typically pool the income and gift the male pocket money. She is responsible for all financial transactions, the male having to ask permission for purchases above a certain amount, or certain items, like alcohol. She would have control over most expenditures.

Appearance: The female partner dictates the dress code for both daily activities and special occasions. This may extend to hairstyle, grooming, and even the selection of wardrobe items.

Permissions: There can be a long list of things the male needs the approval of the female for, the submissive partner seeks permission for various activities, outings, or engagements. The female lead has the final say in approving, reinforcing the power dynamic. Anything from purchases to going out with friends needs her OK.

Intimacy: The female partner is responsible for all intimacy and sexual conduct. She can request her own pleasures and deny the males. The female can flirt or even cuckold the husband, and chastity for the male is a serious option. The male can become a sexual plaything for the female, a role many men enjoy. The female will often take over control of when the male is allowed to orgasm as well.

Household: The female dominant will allocate the male tasks, chores, and responsibilities in line with exactly how she wants the household to run. Her needs are to be met as a matter of expectation.

Social: All societal and family engagements are dictated by the female, from restaurant choices to dinner parties and nights out. The male needs permission for his own.

a dominant with submissive on the floor, one heel on chest

Communications: The female controls all the communicative interaction. She has all his passwords and access to email. The male must report his whereabouts and his phone is available for on demand inspection. She can set limits and use communication with friends as rewards.

Health: The female takes on the mantra of keeping the male healthy. She can impart diets, healthy living, eating habits, and exercise regimens. Lifestyle habits can be monitored and fitness goals can be established.

Personal: The female takes over the personal time of the male allocating things to do, dedicating his time to achieve her desires. She gives him his own time back for rewards and to keep him in line.

Leisure: All leisure activities are decided by the female from sports watching to holidays or mini breaks. TV choices, cinema trips, etc, all decided by the female.

Punishments: The penalties for infringement of rules can often be harsher and more swiftly applied. In gentle femdom relationships, corporal punishment might only be used for disrespect. In an extreme FLR they are more the norm. They are used more ruthlessly to keep the male in line.

Humiliation/Degradation: Female power trips are used, the male often being the object of some amusement. Tongues can be used as ashtrays, the male might be used for furniture, that sort of thing.

a blonde pins down a submissive male

Why Some Men Crave That Level of Extreme Control in an FLR

For those accustomed to shouldering substantial responsibility at work, the notion of surrendering control in a relationship becomes an appealing escape, a glorious departure from the burdens of being the ultimate decision-maker.

Within an extreme FLR, the same men can explore the uncharted territory of vulnerability.

The complete dominance of the female partner creates a space where they can let go, be led, and experience a different power dynamic.

The extreme nature of the FLR becomes a playground for exploration and the realization of long-held wishes.

Surrendering complete control to a female partner becomes a means for men to build trust and strengthen emotional bonds within the relationship.

Trust is cultivated through vulnerability and reliance on their partner’s guidance.

a female dominant kisses her submissive

Is There Something Wrong with Me if I Crave Extreme Control

My guess might be that if you are self aware enough to ask that question, then you’re probably fine.

The desire for extreme control within an FLR is a deeply personal inclination, and the question of whether it signifies something “wrong” is one that many individuals grapple with.

It’s essential to recognize that such cravings are not indicative of any inherent flaw or psychological disorder.

The spectrum of preferences is broad, and what may seem extreme to some is entirely fulfilling for others.

Men, like anyone else, vary significantly in their emotional and psychological makeup. The need for extreme control can be viewed as part of this spectrum, often existing as a counterbalance to other aspects of one’s life.

Just as some individuals crave independence, others may find fulfillment in relinquishing control in a relationship.

Desiring extreme control doesn’t equate to pathology or mental health issues.

It’s a personal preference, shaped by individual experiences, fantasies, and needs.

As long as the dynamics are consensual, communicated openly, and embraced with a full understanding of the implications, there’s no inherent “wrongness” in such desires.

So, no, there isn’t anything wrong with you if you truly desire a female partner to take control of areas normally reserved for personal preferences. Succumbing to the desires of a female partner speaks highly of where you place your trust,

a feamle dominants feet on chest of male

What Are The Dangers of an Extreme FLR

While an extreme FLR can be an exhilarating journey, it’s vital to tread carefully through uncharted territories to avoid potential pitfalls.

Both partners must approach this dynamic with a shared commitment and a clear understanding of the complexities involved.

Dangers arise when there is a significant disparity in the level of dedication. It’s crucial to ensure that both individuals are equally invested in the dynamics they are choosing to explore.

Immersing oneself entirely in the role of the submissive partner can lead to a potential danger: the risk of losing one’s identity. It’s essential to maintain a sense of self outside the dynamics of the relationship and to strike a balance that allows for personal growth.

Every relationship, especially those exploring extreme dynamics, must establish clear boundaries. The danger arises when these boundaries are not communicated or are overlooked. Unaddressed boundaries can lead to discomfort, emotional strain, and jeopardize the well-being of the partnership.

Equally, both partners should be vigilant about potential signs of emotional distress and prioritize mental well-being.

Individuals may find that their desires evolve over time. The danger lies in neglecting these changes or failing to communicate them.

Getting lost in the power dynamic can happen.

Always remain cognisant of the fact that it’s a relationship style, and can be altered, paused, or terminated at any time.

a female dominant spanks a male submissive

Some Safety Precautions for an Extreme FLR

Embarking on an extreme FLR demands a deliberate approach to ensure the well-being of both partners.

While the dynamics may be intense, incorporating safety precautions can safeguard against potential negative effects and foster a healthy and consensual relationship.

Establish a routine for regular check-ins to discuss the dynamics of the relationship. This provides an opportunity for both partners to share their thoughts, feelings, and any concerns that may have arisen.

The female dominant can insist on a shared journal where the female partner can gauge the mental well-being of the male. This journal serves as a space to express emotions, concerns, and reflections on the dynamics. The mistress can take a review of the journal and can offer insights into any potential challenges.

Incorporate scheduled pauses or time outs to allow both partners to reassess the dynamics.

Allowing, or building in a break by giving the male some ‘blow off time’ can often avert potential build ups.

The mistress can even incorporate a time to sit the male down and write an essay about emotional well being and do that often. This allows her to self-assess the situation.

a female dominant eats out at restaurant


The question of craving extreme control should not be met with judgment or apprehension; rather, it invites us to delve into the depths of human desire and connection.

It’s evident that the key to a healthy extreme FLR lies in the commitment of both partners.

Safety precautions, from regular check-ins to the cultivation of a mental well-being journal, provide a compass to navigate potential dangers and foster a relationship that is both intense and consensual.

In embracing the extreme, it becomes paramount to avoid losing oneself in the play. The delicate balance lies in surrendering control without sacrificing individual identity.

An extreme FLR is not a departure from one’s authenticity; rather, it’s an exploration that demands self-awareness, mutual respect, and a commitment to consensual evolution.

So if you crave a level of submission to a truly dominant partner then by all means go ahead, plenty of people thoroughly enjoy this lifestyle.

There’s nothing wrong with you, and being done properly, can be extremely fulfilling.

Just make sure you’re self aware enough not to lose your identity to it, like any craving or addiction, don’t let it get the better of you.

2 Responses

  1. Anthony Calhoun

    Thank you for this article. I am in the process of developing your marriage into a FLR. It’s makes a lot of sense to me to do this since I am at a stage of “just having fun” i.e. retired and my wife, 12 years younger, is far more business like. However, my wife is very reserved & guarded hence the more she is “in control” the more “just having fun” especially sexually she is incline to be open to because she is not worried about me inflicting pain, etc. on her. I cheer her dominance on! What this article “Is It OK To Crave an Extreme FLR?” refers to is CRAZY to me. I am far more in-line with the FLR style you wrote about in your Aug 23, 2023 article “Is it Her Way or the Highway? – Debunking Myths About Control in Female-Led Couples”.

    Thank you for your website I love the articles and especially the pictures.

  2. Colleen

    My husband Todd was the leader in our marriage until he admitted to me when he was extremely horny after an extended business trip that 1. He craved my stinky feet and 2. He has a fantasy of being mercilessly tickled. Oh poor Todd! I’m 5’ tall and 110 pounds but within months I had taken control sexually of our marriage. My techniques? I restrain Todd for erotic tickle torture, and “make him confess “. I make sure my feet and armpits are very smelly on weekends and encourage him to smell and kiss them. He’s either nude at home or wearing pink panties. He has stripped naked for my sister and 8 of my gal pals. Oh the rare occasions I allow him an orgasm, he is trained to lick up the mess

    My next goal? Cuckholding him. Todd has told me he wants this, have me date and sleep with other men, he wants to watch me have sex with men, he wants to suck my mans cock as I “force him”, and he wants to lick me after my bull fills me up. Im SO wet considering this, my gear is it may be a relationship killer. Can anyone help advise me?

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