Can A Femdom Relationship Exist If The Woman Isn’t Into It?

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There is a great deal of anecdotal evidence that men seek a femdom relationship more than women.

Most female led relationships are asked for by the male.

Any long term relationship grows with the knowledge of each other’s personalities, and men can find the idea intimidating to ask for as well, as the women feel a little daunted by the new change in perceived direction.

Within all this is the possibility that the man feels more strongly about the idea of trying femdom than the woman.

So, is it possible to have a femdom partnership if the woman isn’t as great a proponent of femdom?

Yes, potentially a femdom style relationship can exist even if the woman isn’t as passionate about the idea as the male is. While some women will flatly reject the idea, a good percentage might accept the proposals if the idea is reframed as ‘head of household’.

Femdon or dominant female comes loaded with imagery and perhaps many false assumptions.

a domme side view at home

The idea of femdom can be ‘toned down’ to make the idea more palatable.

The Issue With Femdom In Relationships

Women who aren’t into the idea of femdom can still participate in femdom if they can indulge the desires of the male without harming the partnership, nor over burdening the female.

The more submissive the male needs to be the more the female might need to become overtly dominant to satisfy that desire.

Fulfilling submissive desires from the female point of view might be correlated to how often the submissive feels the need to be ‘under the thumb’ of a domme.

If it’s occasional then the female within a relationship can ‘dabble’ with some bedroom domme play and make an occasional request into an order and that may suffice.

For it to be more of a lifestyle thing might be too bitter a pill to swallow.

a domme at home

There is also the option of going for outside help.

A woman within a partnership might consent to hand over the responsibility to a 3rd party.

Commonly a man can seek the services of a professional dominatrix, which hopefully will be with the full consent of the female partner.

Some couples could have a female friend in order to help out but this is perhaps more uncommon. Not impossible though.

What should be noted that a man with a strong desire to try female domination shouldn’t suppress this idea. It can be extremely stressful to keep this bottled up and will do more harm than good in the end.

A man suppressing the idea of being dominated as a way of relieving stress will eventually exhibit behaviour that will ultimately push a couple apart.

Indulging a man’s submissive idea this factor needs to be taken into consideration.

a domme controling her man

Some Simple Options

Before going into the head of household take on femdom there are a few options that could be considered.

Dabbling – A female that cares for her partner may be willing to occasionally and ina  very specific manner dip into the role of being a domme. This can scratch the itch often enough for the desires not to develop into a problem.

The submissive man should express his desires and the female can dip in and out of a domme role for a brief period.

It’s not a femdom relationship as such, but may be enough to satisfy the submissive man’s desires.

Online Domination – With full agreement between the couple a good solution might be to find an online dominatrix. 

The dominatrix can talk to the female and the male, perhaps separately, and act as the proxy between the two.

The dominatrix can interview the female partner, or remain in email contact with her, and find her thoughts about her male partner. The dominatrix can then translate that into orders, punishments, and tasks for him to perform.

For example the discussion between the female and the dominatrix can reveal that she is often frustrated with her husband’s laziness, the fact that he doesn’t clean his dishes after using them, and that he doesn’t pay her enough physical attention.

The dominatrix then contacts the male to translate those feelings and the male is required to follow these orders which are deliberately female centric.

a domme licking a mans face

The male, via video or email, would then be ordered to make sure he cleans up after himself following a meal, wash up his wife’s plates and cutlery. He might be ordered to cut the grass before the end of Sunday. 

The dominatrix might have asked the wife when she had a free evening, and order the male to provide a relaxing oil massage to his partner and end the evening with some pleasurable oral sex for her.

The idea is that a professional dominatrix acts as a conduit between the two.

Professional Dominatrix – This will also need the consent of the female for it to work well. Secrets about this sort of stuff can destroy trust.

The submissive male can often need harsher and more physical interactions than his female partner can provide.

As such the man can look for a professional dominatrix to satisfy these more specific ideas.

a domme close up

A Good Balance For A Partnership May Be Head Of Household

Terms like femdom, female led relationship, and domme come with certain visual images.

Those visual images can be a far cry from the reality of what a submissive man might want to define the term.

A permanent partner can often shy away from the thought of trying a female led relationship on this basis.

For a man wanting to see his female partner take a more proactive dominant role in the partnership might have more luck approaching the situation with a different message.

Likewise, the term ‘head of household’ often comes with attractive visual images for a reluctant female. It sounds much less aggressive, and intimates a role for the partnership that might well be attractive in its own right.

a female dominating her submissive

So why not open a discussion around a female ‘head of household’ role.

The benefits would be easier to both sell to the female and are much more acceptable as a term.

The female can become the head of the household for the couple.

This means that in practice the female has responsibility and authority to ensure the household runs smoothly.

A lot of women find attractive the idea of having th autonomy of running the household. The idea that she now has authority to utilize the time and effort of the male in this context can be seen as an addition to her responsibility.

If she needs any more encouragement you can tell her the benefits of the arrangement to her;

  • She gets to improve her man
  • Less arguments as her decision for things will be followed
  • The household will run more smoothly and to her liking
  • She might get a sense of empowerment
  • She can demand or reject kink when she feels like it
  • She can educate the man to become a better lover
  • Can order away bad habits
  • Ensure she is never taken for granted
  • She can be selfish without argument
  • She has not need to compromise on household important things
  • An end to power struggles
  • She can focus her man’s attention when and where she needs it
  • She can express herself emotionally without fear of conflict or condemnation

She might not understand what you get out of it, but the lack of responsibility can be a good start.

a mistress with sleeping sub

This is much more appealing to her.

All the man has to do is relinquish control within the household.

This can at least get her to think about it in a positive manner.

After that she may like it, be reluctant to give up the benefits and you may see further development into the art of femdom.

Just give the female her own time and space.

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