Can Shy Girls Be Good At Female Domination

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It seems like a little bit of an impasse doesn’t it?

If you’re female and slightly shy then it seems that the art of female domination may not be for you.

After all, aren’t all dominant females leather clad confident vixens?

The art of female domination, or gentle femdom if you will, means different things to different people, there are no two couples alike.

So, can shy girls be good at female domination?

Yes, it’s perfectly possible for a shy girl to become good at the art of female domination. A secure relationship where trust has been built makes this easier but the effort to learn can empower many women.

Therein lies the point.

Whilst the imagery for female dominants is exaggerated in the minds of many women new to the endeavor, the reality will be different from what you first perceive.

It will take you down an interesting and unknown path, and believe it or not may help you to overcome shyness.

a female dominant being worshipped

The Perception Of Shyness And The Female Dominant

Shyness doesn’t normally come alone on the list of traits

Many women experience a little trepidation, worry about self-consciousness, and even admit to being a little scared.

Maybe they’ve been asked by their partner to be a little more “authoritative”

Professional dominants seem to be able to switch off emotions to overcome the things they have to do – or so it seems.

However, a key part of the gentle femdom relationship is that the submissive is acquiescing to your authority.

He’s doing nothing that isn’t consensual.

A key problem for many women is the societal pressures and how many are brought up.

Women in particular are brought up to be nice, considerate, and think of others.

It’s rude or downright unthinkable to berate, speak ill, degrade, humiliate, or physically punish another, especially someone you might care for.

Not that these are bad attributes at all, they aren’t and are the essence of femininity, but every dominant female will have had to grapple with this conundrum.

Balance is everything, even for experienced dominants. Push too hard, and you will break trusts, but push too little, and be too nice and the male requiring submissiveness to your authority will be left unsatisfied.

In perceiving dominant behavior, whatever is required by the submissive male, as a dominant female, it’s critical to understand he is wanting your authority, not 

Grasping the fact that your man may want a girl who confidently overrides his opinion and even displays a little selfishness is key to understanding the power dynamic you may be embarking upon.

It allows you to do away with thoughts of being judged and become a more assertive you.

a female dominant being worshipped

How Gentle Femdom Can Help Shy Women

So, realizing that your authority is desired by your new submissive should be a milestone moment.

You don’t need to be fearful of direction, but you wouldn’t be human if you weren’t filled with a little trepidation where it all might lead.

Well, that is entirely up to you, and that’s the point.

You don’t need to alter yourself, be a pain-inflicting psychopath, or do anything you don’t want to do.

Often, female domination within a relationship is just taking charge, and standing up for what you want, and what you want done.

Depending upon how shy you are as a female I’d suggest bay steps are the way to go.

To other people, it may seem insignificant but if you’re shy, then asserting yourself can be a fearful step.

You’re going to discuss plenty with your partner, and he will have to accept your growing comfortability but small steps can boost confidence no end.

As a female, you may be used to just ‘accepting’ something your partner prefers by ‘going with the flow’

Have a detailed think and write a list of the ways you do this if it helps.

Has your partner ever expressed a preference through a question and acted as you would just accept his inclinations?

It happens with the simple stuff, but it’s the place to start.

Imagine your male partner saying something like –

“Hey honey, do you fancy a Mexican meal tonight, you usually like them right, I’ll go get some takeout now”

If you’re shy then it’s often easier to not state your preferences for the sake of feeling comfortable.

However, in a gentle femdom relationship, you standing up for yourself, actually thinking about what YOU want, and then overriding his preferences will be something he desires, and will ultimately admire.

So imagine yourself saying –

“no, we will have Thai food – go get that instead”

Whilst it seems unthinkable to shy people, a gentle femdom relationship will not only teach you to think about what you want but assert those preferences.

The beauty of it, of course, is that it’s done with the willingness of a submissive partner to your desires.

a female dominant spanking

Gentle Femdom – From Shy Girl To Empowered Queen

Baby steps – that’s what it’s all about.

No-one expects a professional dominatrix straight out the gate when delving into the art of female empowerment in a relationship.

However, entering into a power dynamic where you can assert yourself at your own pace and grow into a female dominant you are comfortable with can greatly assist that transition.

Set Small And Achievable Goals

As mentioned earlier, if you’re shy as a prospective female dominant you shouldn’t dive right in, but converse with your partner about how you are going to have to learn to be more assertive.

Depending upon how you feel it may be just standing up for your own preference, or it could be setting some rituals, or it could even be setting weekly tasks.

In fact, not only setting them but overseeing the work, and either accepting or rejecting the efforts.

Whatever you feel is a good start, then work with your partner on asserting yourself from there.

a female dominant having foot kissed

Overcoming The Spotlight Effect

There’s a tendency with shy people to overanalyze social situations and think every personal decision they make that affects others will be scrutinized by the group.

The truth is, people generally allow other people to make their own decisions without fanfare.

Having a partner who would be willing to submit to your authority helps create this confidence in yourself that you are perfectly within your right to choose for yourself certain matters, in fact, a gentle femdom relationship means that you have a willing partner in the assertion over another.

a female dominant commanding

Be Genuine

Part of learning to be comfortable with the command of others is being genuine with your thoughts and what you are learning.

Don’t try to be someone you’re not.

Learning to be assertive starts with having genuine thoughts to be assertive about.

Don’t try to be dominant just to prove you are dominant.

In the above example, where a husband says

“Hey honey, do you fancy a Mexican meal tonight, you usually like them right, I’ll go get some takeout now”

Don’t change the meal if you actually want the Mexican meal.

Dominance comes from truth and trust.

Learn to be assertive about the things you actually care about. It provides much better feedback as you grow.

a female dominant lecturing


It’s perfectly possible for a girl who is shy to grow into a very fine female dominant, treated with a different kind of respect by their partner.

It won’t happen overnight as you overcome mental barriers bit by bit.

I’d venture that entering into a gentle femdom relationship will help most shy females with overcoming their own hesitation in many matters.

Seeing the end goals to being more assertive is often a motivating factor.

Consider the things you can do,

  • Improve your man
  • End to arguing
  • A smoother running household
  • Self empowerment
  • Kink on your terms
  • Getting rid of your partner’s bad habits
  • No ‘taken for granted’ feelings anymore
  • Guilt free pleasures
  • Develop and improve yourself
  • No relationship power struggles
  • Be emotionally expressive without conflict

Every female dominant that now finds it easy took a first step.

Everyone starts with differing levels of confidence, but there’s nothing stopping anyone growing into a consensual, yet unequal power exchange favoring the female within a relationship that works for both partners.

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