58 Low Impact Punishments For The Beginner To Gentle Femdom

Think of BDSM and most people conjure up an image of a leather clad vixen laughing maniacally as she whips and subjugates a restrained submissive male. She verbally denigrates him before performing some tortuous sexual act.

Unsurprisingly this isn’t real life.

Especially for the beginner domme, or those who prefer a more cerebral and psychological authority than the purely physical often have to try and work out an alternative. They don’t want to perform what they think is the only option.

Many who enter into ‘gentle femdom’ actually care for their partner. They don’t wish to physically harm them, nor humiliate them but support them, despite having female authority.

So for those couples, which I suspect is a lot of female led relationships, need an alternative.

And what is that alternative?

It’s what I will refer to as low impact punishments.

What Is A Low Impact Punishment

A low impact punishment is a form of punishment that does not involve extreme physical pain, or indeed any pain if you so chose. Typically there is no humiliation or emasculation involved, but everyone is different.

They are a way of avoiding the physical and the painful, yet still retain their unwanted symbolism.

They normally fall into 2 key categories

• Perform something unwanted
• Removing a pleasure or privilege

It doesn’t mean not harsh, or is an easy get out clause. There is a tendency to think that if you remove the punishments like spanking, the other alternatives are easy so there might be a lower barrier to defying you.

That is not the case.

There are punishments available that will be desperately avoided by your sub, so your authority is in no way diminished by using low impact punishments.

In Any Femdom Relationship Punishments Are Still Necessary

The key to any authority is the ability to punish.

Authority is derived from the power of the gun, at least according to Chairman Mao.

Any government has a legal system and jails, for those that step out of conventional norms and acceptable behaviour.

It will be no different in a female led relationship. For your authority to carry any weight, you must have the ability to punish, so low impact punishments are ideal for those not into the physical pain and humiliation normally associated with the practice.

Is It OK To Dish Out Low Impact Punishments Only

Of course, never let anyone force you into dishing punishments you don’t want to perform.

Low impact punishments can be the only ones you dole out if you like,

Discover what’s right for you, and don’t try and fit into a stereotypical box.

If the thought of spanking or caning isn’t what you want, then don’t do it. There is an alternative available to you.

A nice advantage of low impact punishments is that they are rather low maintenance for the domme. A spanking involves much work by the mistress, but a typical low impact punishment,like writing lines, can be issued and then the mistress can go about her day.

Just like any punishment it shouldn’t be done out of anger, and the sub should have the punishment explained to him. Afterwards it’s normal practice to make him recite why his punishment was administered.

Low Impact Punishments

So without any further delay, here’s a list of punishments for you to consider.

Corner standing – With an idea borrowed from schooldays far gone, the sub is to go to a specified corner, hold his head low and contemplate what he has done. The time length is not specified, nor does a mistress have to to tell the submissive how long he will be there. This adds a new dynamic as he could be there 30 minutes or 5 hours. Not knowing requires mental gymnastics all on its own.

Mistress can also specify in what clothes the sub has to perform the punishment, so she can add a little humiliation with a sub doing it in panties, bra, stockings etc. Or indeed, naked.

Sex denial – Selectively the mistress can deny the submissive sex for a period. It can be for days, weeks or months depending upon the seriousness of the activity that prompted the punishment.

During the suspension from sex, the mistress does not need to be denied her own pleasures. She can instruct her sub to make her orgasm but not return the favor during the punishment. The sub can be made to massage, perform oral, or penetrate her with toys.

Chastity cage – A small device that fits and locks over a flacid penis so that the submissive cannot get erect. It isn’t painful yet prohibits him from orgasming at all. With sex denial he can still masturbate, but with a chastity cage on he cannot.

Writing apology – For whatever infraction he has committed, get him to sit down and write an apology, that is both heartfelt and substantive. You can put some quirks to it, like with a quill and ink, or have a special schoolboy outfit for him, with his detention homework.

Ruined orgasm only – Over a period of time he may only have ruined orgasms. He is to remain in a chastity cage and his mistress will only allow him out of the cage so she can deliberately ruin an orgasm for the sub.

No speaking – An effective punishment befitting overtalking mistress or not listening, but essentially the sub must put their hand up to speak. Mistress can then decide if he can say something.

Early bedtime – This a good punishment if the sub has behaved like a child. After dinner, then he has to go to bed. No phone, or other form of entertainment, but lights out and lie in bed. This doesn’t need to be a day specific thing either, mistress can give him a week of early bedtimes.

Go without food for a day – Pretty self explanatory this one. Mistress will forbid the sub from consuming anything but fluids during the day. He is to go without all meals and snacks until the following morning’s breakfast.

Owned collar – While in the house he must put on a collar that will make him feel owned. This is a psychological punishment as it really emphasises that point. It’s difficult for him to forget. Quite a lot of people really hate this as it removes any vestiges of individuality.

Leashed collar – The sub has a collar placed on him and a leash. The leash is tied to something immovable like a wall mount or something heavy and immovable like a table leg. That way he cannot move beyond a prescribed circle. A mistress can make him do it naked or in female clothing for added effect.

Toy removal – The sub will normally have access to a few electronic devices that he uses for entertainment. Phone, tablet, Xbox, TV, kindle or whatever. Place a restriction on him using them until the punishment is deemed over.

Vibrator holding rather than sex – Make him pleasure with a vibrator rather than sex. Make him tease you into an orgasm. When you have, move on as isn’t allowed and pleasurable sexual activity.

Long coat walk – Make the sub take a long walk to somewhere to get you something in a long coat. Underneath he can be wearing not much at all, or just a walk to a nearby landmark where he can take a photo to prove he was there before walking back again.

Vibrating butt plug – Why not make them clean an area of the house while being naked and a vibrating butt plug.

Nude waiter – Make your sub cook a delicious meal, with desert and wine, all while being naked. He must wait on you and wah up with no clothing on also.

Essay – Give you submissive an essay with the most boring title possible like “the cumulative effect of industrial capitalization in the 18th century” and get them to spend an evening writing that one out.

Soap in mouth – Put a bar of soap in his mouth and make him walk around with it for a good time.

Restrictive chore – Make him do a chore with one hand tied behind his back say like vacuuming the front room. Or you could get him to do all his weekly shores like it so that it takes way more time than it normally does.

Naked exercise – Put him on an exercise regime for a few days or a week but make him do it in the nude in the front room while you watch TV or something. Get him doing press ups, burpees, star jumps and sit ups, all while you keep an eye on him.

Lipstick marking – Somewhere on his body write “I have displeased mistress” or “I have committed a crime of tardiness” and make him walk around for a day or two with it still there.

Furniture – Make him a  piece of furniture for a while. A footstool is common so you can put your feet up while you watch TV, and help yourself to a glass of wine.

Jerk off underwear – Give him a ruined orgasm into his underwear and make him wear the underwear for a few days.

Feminine attire – Mistress should have a dress and pantyhose with panties for the submissive to wear when he needs punishing. He can do chores in them, exercise or just cook you a meal in them.

Food in a pet dish – Of an evening, when some food has been prepared your sub can eat it out of a pet bowl rather than dine more like a human with you. For extra effect you can place it on the floor and make him eat it from there.

Bland food – Instead of anything interesting to eat like lasagne or beef risotto, make them eat something very untasty every night for a week. Like boiled cabbage in mushy cauliflower, or couscous and broccoli.

Stress positions – Make them stand against a wall naked if necessary for a while. After a while the arms begin to shake and it becomes difficult. For added difficulty make them do it with fingertips. Or sit on the floor with you back and head straight for a length of time.

Pointless chore – You can think of many of these I am sure, like count how many pages there are in my bookshelf or something, but a good one is get the sub to count out how many grains of rice are in a cup, a bowl or a 1kg bag of rice. Takes ages and is utterly useless.

Excessive chores – For a week they are to do every chore in the house, from making beds, to laundry to keeping all the rooms clean and dusting.

Cold shower – Make them wash, and clean for a good length of time under a cold shower. The colder the better and you can make him have a week of them for extra effect.

Anal plug – Not vibrating but get him to wear one if he is doing chores, making a meal or just throughout the day or a shopping trip. Or even work if he can do that.

Clean all taps with a toothbrush – Make him get the kitchen, bathroom and utility room taps clean with a toothbrush. Or make him clean the bath with it, something that makes the whole job much longer.

Humiliating masturbation – Make your sub naked and tell him to masturbate into something that is a bit humiliating. You can place him in front of the window and watch him jerk off.

Stockings to work – Dress your sub in the morning in stockings, suspender belt and panties and make him go to work in them. Make sure he sends you a few pictures during the day so he can prove he is still in them.

Announce when horny – He must tell you when he is feeling a bit frisky or has an erection. Every time, no matter where. Texts to you while he is at work, and informing you if you are present.

Punishment chores – Like making your sexy shoes shine like they were done by an army soldier, or laundry and making all your work clothes clean with a roller for picking up dirt and hairs. Just keep adding to a list of stuff that he has to do if he is being punished.

Friend timeout – He may go out with friends a few nights a week, or after work. Put a restriction on that for a period of time until he has learned his lesson.

Remove discretionary spending – Disallow him to spend any money on himself for a period of time, like a week or two. He won’t be able to order anything, or order a new book, or clothes, or even candy until the punishment time has elapsed.

Micromanaging – For a period of time tell him every little thing he does, and make him ask for permission to do anything such as make a coffee, have any drink, eat anything, or even go to the bathroom. Keep him busy with little things and make him text you while he;s at work every hour with what he has done.

Floor sleeping – Can work with a couch as well, but for a few days or a week he has to sleep on the floor next to the bed.

No use of furniture – Any furniture in the house he is not allowed to use, even including the bed. So he has to watch TV while sitting on the floor and has to dine standing up.

Activity exchange – If there’s an activity you normally do together, like going to the cinema on Wednesday, go alone or with a friend, and give him a list of chores to do instead that must be done before you get back. Make it a long list so he will be busy.

Getting up early – Well, there will be no lie ins for your sub for a while. Make him get up early and do something while you sleep. He can clean the car in the garage at 5.30am on a Sunday morning while you take a nap.

Uncomfortable clothing – Think of a very uncomfortable piece of clothing like a girdle or corset and make him wear it for the day. Or two. Or three.

Diaper day – Make him wear a diaper for the day, or watch him do some chores in it.

Heavy carry – Your sub must carry something heavy around with him for a day while inside or if going outside, like a dumbell or a rock. Make him walk to get you a magazine while carrying a 10kg dumbbell in a knapsack if you feel like it.

Permission to use bathroom – For whatever period the mistress desires, the sub will have to ask permission to use the bathroom. Say no occasionally and make him ask you again in 10 or 15 minutes.

BJ practice – Mistress can have a strapon or a dildo she uses to make her sub practice the art of deepthroating. Make him show you the practice and how well he is coming along in achieving a gag reflex avoidance.

High heels – Make him walk around all day in some high heels that make it a bit difficult.

Mouth gag – Get a mouth gag, and put it on your sub. He can have a whole day with that in while you go about your day.

Boot kissing – Make him kiss your boots every evening or upon snap demand. Keep him doing it, even during mealtimes, and make it inconvenient. Tell him to do it at 3am if you like and place them downstairs.

Jerk off in the back garden – Make him go out into the back garden and jerk off. Maybe early morning, in some ladies underwear, but I’m sure you can come up with some edgy places.

Cum drinking – Have him orgasm into a container and save it. You can put it in his coffee and make him drink it, or mix it in with some food.

Orgasm ratio – Have a ratio for orgasms for an extended period of time like 5 to 1, or 10 to 1. Meaning you have to receive 10 orgasms before he gets a single one. You can make yours a luxurious pleasure but makes his quick and sordid like into the toilet urinal. 

Blow up sex doll – Get a blow up sex doll for these humiliating punishments. Make him blow it up and make him have proper sex with it in front of you. Foreplay, oral pleasuring before missionary. Make him talk dirty to the doll.

Turn him on before bed – Before you go to sleep, make him as horny as hell with some sexy language. Get him erect and tease him mercilessly. Then say goodnight and go to sleep.

Find another online couple – Get him to join some online groups and find another BDSM couple. Advertise if necessary, but this new couple are to think of the punishments for him, and make him do what the couple suggests.

Porn while caged – While locked in chastity, make him watch the sexiest porn that you can find.

Naked evenings – At 8pm every evening he is to remove his clothes and carry on the evening while naked. He is not allowed to put the clothes on again, so if he has forgotten something, or needs to go to the car he is out of luck unless he goes there while naked.

Forbid a TV football game – He will have a favorite sport, or watch a ball game in the evenings or at game time. Just remove this privilege and give him a chore instead.