Acting like a dominant female can take many forms and span a wide variety of activities. Chores, tasks, and personal errands are all on the cards when you enter into any type of female led relationship.
Obviously, within the spectrum of a mistress and a sub either wanting to start a pegging activity, is a wide range of activities that you can envisage.
For many in a female led relationship the mistress is perhaps only doing it to please her loved one, or maybe it’s the reverse, and the man is only trying it to appease a request from his mistress and wife.
However, with an increasing number of women describing the idea of pegging as ‘hot’ and a large number of submissive males enjoying being treated as a vassal for unrestrained mistress lust, the art of how to dominate in pegging is becoming more relevant.
Table of Contents
What Is Dominant Pegging
It seems like a strange question doesn’t it?
Pegging is the practice of a female placing a dildo within a strapon harness into a male’s anus. And dominant is the art of controlling the situations.
So case closed. Dominant pegging is a mistress controlling the sex and when she is going to insert her dildo and the man takes her thrusting.
While that’s true on the face of it, I believe there’s more to it than that.
It’s not just a matter of the mistress asking you to get in position and inserting the dildo (after lubing obviously) and thrusting. While that can be fine for some, submitting to a true dominant pegging will be very different.
It’s a way of treating the submissive. It’s an attitude from both the mistress and the sub.
A good way to describe a dominant pegging might be a mistress on heat, feeling lustful and treating her submissive like a sex toy.
Put like that, a dominant pegging is a very different proposition.
Not only does it involve a sexually rapacious mistress, but it requires a sub happy with being treated like a sex toy or lump of meat.
The mistress tends to act like the dildo is a real source of pleasure for her, and proponents of this style of pegging often like it because it “makes them feel like mistress’ bitch”.
Will My Man Might Like It When I Peg Him Dominantly
Many men, even heterosexual men, like the idea of pegging. It might be something to try, a little bit kinky but there is often real physical pleasure for a man associated with it.
The prostate is stimulated and this can produce heightened physical pleasure, so pegging is an ideal way to achieve this.
He will enjoy many things, other than the physical pleasure. It may not indeed look like he is enjoying it, by psychological enjoyment is a deep thing. Many like pain, yet displike the actual pain, it’s more about the situation and the display of dominance.
Likewise, when a mistress is forcing a dildo down a submissive’s throat, a man might look like he is struggling or pulling away in the same way that there’s a pain flinch, but it’s just a small component of how he enjoys it and psychologically he may be looking for a response that satisfies him more.
So why might he enjoy your treatment of him?
Utter abandonment – When a mistress takes complete control of a pegging session, from the sub’s point of view there is an abandonment of real world norms. For any man who feels pressure in the professional world, that feeling of having to deal with whatever happens and take it can be refreshing, psychologically speaking.
Complete subjugation – There is an unthinking dominance form a mistress and a feeling of abject submissiveness from the male. Many subs enjoy that relationship where they have no options for self respect for a moment.
Dominant mistress is sexy – We can try and deny it all we like, but the fact is that a confident female expressing her desires is a very sexy trait. Add wanton lust in there, acting like she owns you, and a dismissive and uncaring attitude and you can find a man completely helpless to that combination.
Physically overpower – He may want you to physically overpower him to assert dominance. It could be a male thing but it does exude authority. It doesn’t necessarily mean throwing him around, that’s impractical but it can mean reaffirming an action by force. As a submissive man sucking a dildo say, he may pull away, but it is a form of resistance. He actually wants the submissiveness of you forcing it back into his throat.
Dismissive – This is the feeling of being worthless to you. If mistress is in a world of her own lust and using her sub a sex toy, uncorncered with his pleasure or pain, then she is demonstrating an uncaring attitude. Many men like that attitude during sexual activity with a dominant female.
Endurance achievement – Like it as not, many men will have to test themselves occasionally. They say that all men regret not joining the army. Why? Probably because it’s synonymous with physical tests. Thus being put through an arduous test with pegging it may seem to him like he is enduring something.
Enjoys your pleasure – For a submissive there can be something gratifying about giving your mistress physical pleasure, even if she is abusing you. A mistress acting or indeed receiving pleasure while she causes discomfort to her slave is a transference that can satisfy his deep psychological needs.
Vulnerability exploited – Feeding into that submissive need could be a desire to see his mistress ruthlessly exploit his submissiveness. She is not just asking him to do chores, but completely taking advantage of him in all possible ways. Having a mistress treat you “you are my toy and sexual plaything” can be humiliating and make the sub feel utterly malleable.
Personally I love it when my wife saunters up to me and says “You’re not doing anything important for me are you? No? Good, get off the couch and prepare to have your ass fucked”
Questions To Ask Your Man For A Dominant Pegging
If you’ve never done it before, then there’s probably a few things you need to know from your submissive about motivations, reasons, desires and what he finds both acceptable and unacceptable.
This isn’t meant to be an exhaustive list, but it should give you an idea about how he views your dominant role.
What motivates you to be mistress’ pegging sex toy? Explain why you want to be taken to that level of sexual domination.
Explain the physical and psychological pleasures? How is serving me sexually pleasurable to you?
Write out a scenario you would enjoy. Take some time to write how you envisage it being initiated and describe it occurring.
Can I be dominant and ruthless in all areas of pegging? Can I initiate, force, make you suck a dildo, position you and control all aspects of pegging?
What style do you enjoy for the dominant? Do you like mocking concern for example, or do you prefer uncaring, or lustful?
What do you give me permission to do? What are my authority limits?
How much leeway am I allowed? Which areas (eg sucking a dildo) am I allowed to experiment or push.
Limits on permissions. What are hard limits?
What pegging activities will you enjoy? What do you think you will enjoy?
What pegging activities will you not enjoy? What do you think you will not enjoy?
Do you accept that my sexual desire comes first? Am i to act like it’s only my sexual desires that matter?
Can I peg you in female sexy clothing? Any interest in wearing slutty or sext attire for my pleasure?
How far can I denigrate you? Can I do things that are disrespectful, and are abusive? Physically and using language?
Give an example of what the most extreme activity you may have a limit on? What sort of things are abhorrent to you?
Describe some humiliations while pegging that are too humiliating? What would you really baulk at?
What would you do if I forced it upon you? Describe what you would do if I verbally made you do it?
Can I get you to deepthroat? Will you let me force the dildo into your mouth and make you suck it? Can I force it down your throat against the gag reflex?
How forceful may I be? Some situations may require me to overcome your resistance and forcibly get you to do it. What force can I use and when?
Do you have any comments? Write anything that hasn’t been addressed.
How much pain during pegging will you let me inflict? Please describe your thoughts on receiving pain. Can I ignore any resistance?
Is physically restraining you acceptable? Can I tie you down and forcibly make you suck dildos and penetrate your anus?
What Women Are Afraid Of But Shouldn’t Be
Any quick google search will bring up a plethora of articles convincing you that women like pegging.
Some do, and some don’t.
Some thought they wouldn’t, grow to like it or see the effect is has on their man and grow into the idea.
A fair few even grow to love doing it, really enjoying the exchange in traditional gender roles.
What a lot of women have to overcome however, is perhaps the more dominant pegging. Pretending your man is “your bitch” and unimportant to you for the sake of the role can sometimes be a little too much.
That’s OK, nobody wants to force anything on anyone.
Women, particularly the dominant females in a female led relationship have difficulty overcoming the idea that they will be either hurting their man, or acting lustful and dismissive is too disrespectful, and thus feel awkward.
Most likely though he has requested you to be like this, and will enjoy your more dominant side. He has saf words but wants to be completely under your rule.
In reality, there’s nothing to be afraid of. He has safewords and limits he can show you, and can even refuse.
If he’s complaining but not using them, then you can still push the boundary. Probably beyond what you thought you could.
Make Him Show You Videos
A good way to get an indication is to get him to show you a few videos from the various sites that exist.
Get him to send you some to watch, not just a few but a good amount. Certainly enough to give you an idea.
Get him to put them in the following categories, say 3 per category. That way you will have a good idea of where his tastes, and limits lie.
Put into light, moderate, about right, extreme and over the limit categories
Best if he gives you a few in the ‘about right’ category.
When watching, try to notice the similarities between the categories, and focus on what is too light, and notice how he has bunched up activities that are too much for him.
You will be best served if you try to notice the ones he thinks he likes and try and define what they have in common.
Appearance – are they all in stockings, and corsets? Are they all topless? If there are some glaring similarities, then he will enjoy it the most if you try and replicate the look and feel of the dommes in the video.
Voice / Language – What is the tone, inflection and language used. Is there similarities between mocking concern, or is it outright abuse. Saying “ooooh baby, I only have another inch to go, I know you can take it” is a far cry from “get back on the cock you whore, I haven’t finished shagging you yet”
Abuse – What is the level of abuse and degradation he thinks he would like from you? Take note, and again, try and replicate.
Treatment – How is the sub treated, like a loving partner with a lusty domme, or like a complete slut with a dildo being forced down his throat.
Scene – Overall, just try and take in the scenes that he is telling you are his preferences. You don’t have to go in at this level if it’s uncomfortable or unknown to you, but it should give you an idea of where you are headed.
A Word On Attitude And Language
Language and attitude really make a pegging. While pegging, and gentle conversation works for a vanilla style relationship, I’d suggest those into sexual female power play want a little more.
Whatever works for you though.
But this article is about those who want to dominate sexually as if the sub is a sex toy, a wanton plaything available for misstress’ pleasure.
Both the sub and the mistress should want to emphasize that power dynamic, so language and attitude play a huge part in the play.
As a sub, he won’t want the mistress to be silent, nor act slightly embarrassed about the dominant control.
The mistress needs to act, and play like she is a lustful, dominant, sexy authority who has every right to be taking this ass that is in front of her.
The sub is a nothing, a pathetic individual who is only there for her sexual pleasure.
She needs to act that way, and act like she is getting real pleasure from through the dildo and seeing the man yield to her power and authority.
Make Him Really Suck That Dildo
Here’s your chance to get your own back, so to speak.
Almost every sub that wants a mistress and a pegging will also have the accompanying vision of being forced to suck mistress’ cock.
It’s also a good way of getting it a bit lubed up, and setting the scene.
Again, probably good to get him to send you some videos of exactly how he likes to envisage any deepthroating action going on.
Some men are turned on by the thought of a brutal face fucking, and love the idea that mistress will force her cock down their throat. Any attempt to pull away will be met with more force.
The language can often be simple, dirty, sexy and brutal.
To taunts of “get that cock further down your throat”, “suck it bitch”, and “i’m gonna fuck your mouth till I cum” a man can really witness his mistress treating him as a toy.
In short, act like you are receiving physical pleasure from the dildo and really go to town. If he isn’t using his safe words, then he’s loving it.
Take That Ass Like You REALLY Own It
The same goes for the actual pegging. In the beginning, especially as you are learning it’s more than acceptable to go at a rate that you are both comfortable with.
A similar attitude needs to be taken as to when he sucks the dildo.
Act like the mistress who is doing it for amusement and pleasure. The actual act of inserting your dildo in his anus is a natural thing for you to do. You have a cock, and this male is your sexual toy.
His ass is in fact your ass and you must take it.
This is when you treat him like he has expressed a desire to be dominated.
But if you act like a lusty female completely dominating your sexual toy then you probably won’t go far wrong.
I’ve possibly made it sound like only men can enjoy this, but that’s not true. Many women can enjoy the abandonment of conventional norms and feel the lust and power override them as they taunt, and completely dominate their man.
It’s not exclusively male.
While it’s hard for some women to get their head around, especially if not in a female led relationship why a man may ask you to be abusive, lusty and dominant, it is quite common.
He has safe words he can use, so there is often no fear in giving it a go.
After all, as the saying goes, “all we have to fear, is fear itself”
If your man has asked for it, or likes it within a gentle femdom relationship then why not give it a try, you may grow to love it.
As you act out your submissive being your utter plaything, his submissive satisfaction is fulfilled.
So take that dildo, deep throat him and get it into his ass so you can ride him till the cows come home.
Trying to talk to your partner about the benefits of a female led relationship can be hard. Use this open letter to help or to prompt constructive dialogue.