The Mistress Guide To Getting Your Mindset Right With Pegging

When taking charge in a relationship, whether you instigate it or not comes with many factors, nuances, and altered power exchanges.

Men, by nature, are quite sexual creatures, they have a motivation for sex. However, by placing themselves voluntarily under your control they are relinquishing their ‘natural’ right to be sexual instigators.

That power is now yours to control.

Part of him being submissive is recognizing that he no longer either initializes, controls or demands sexual activity.

Many men, in fact more men that would probably admit to, desire their female partners to not only show some assertiveness in the bedroom but to actually take charge of the sexual activity.

While this isn’t an article about the mechanics of pegging, but more of how to think about it, and the mindset of how you should treat him, there is some overlap on how you should treat a male with a pegging desire.

So what are we talking about here?

What Exactly Is Pegging

Pegging is defined as the sexual practice whereby a female will wear a strapon dildo and anally penetrate a man.

Usually, a woman will be penetrated in the ‘doggy style’ position, but the dynamics are reversed. Imagine the male on all fours with the female penetrating her man with a dildo from behind.

While the term ‘pegging’ doesn’t specify any particular position, the woman does wear a harness that gives the effect of her having a penis. To that end, she can position her man any way she likes, and ‘peg’ him by lubing up her dildo and inserting herself inside him.

It’s certainly possible for the woman to get direct genital stimulation for herself while pegging her man, typically the activity will stimulate the male prostate and provides pleasure for him.

It’s a very submissive activity for a male and places much of the power dynamic into the female’s domain.

While pegging him, she now controls the speed and power of the sexual activity.

So let’s delve into why he wants you to peg him

Why He Wants You To Peg Him

A very simple answer will be because it is a pleasurable activity.

Anally penetrating a man with a dildo will stimulate his prostate, which feels good for a man. 

When you insert your dildo into your submissive male and watch as your strapon glides in and out with your thrusting, the dildo tip will stimulate his prostate gland. When stimulated, it can cause a male to get erect, and in some cases, ejaculate.

While it might be tempting to wrap it up and end it there, I believe that’s only a small part of it.

For the truly submissive male, there is a much overlooked psychological aspect of being pegged.

A common female fantasy rightly or wrongly is to ‘be taken’ by a man. That is to say, a submissive female will enjoy a man who initiates and controls the sex. She will quite possibly enjoy the element whereby she has decisions removed from her.

I believe the reverse is true with a male submissive.

Within the confines of what you have agreed as part of your dominance over him, a submissively sexual man could well want you to;

Initiate sexual activity – At a time of your choosing he will enjoy you deciding to peg him without him initiating it. He likes the thought of you being turned on and giving him instructions. It doesn’t have to be spontaneous, but can be planned. He wants to receive text messages telling him to wear something slutty tonight as you are feeling horny, and thus want to peg him when you get back home.

Spontaneous lust  – Most likely he will enjoy spontaneous lust on your part. It is something he associates with dominance. You suddenly feeling horny and wanting to peg him will satisfy his submissiveness. Whether it’s watching a film, or just seeing him bend over, he will feel truly submissive as you break out a strapon and order him about.

Become your sex toy – A submissive male who enjoys being pegged will quite likely enjoy the psychological aspect of being thought of as an instrument for your pleasure. He will feel fulfilled if it’s an unequal exchange of pleasure. He will not want you to satisfy him primarily. Rather the reverse, if he is used for your pleasure while pegging him this satisfies submissive desires. Acting like you are getting pleasure from pegging him is a must here.

Be available for a pegging quickie – Remember, you submissive male is there for your pleasure. He is aware of this, and likes it when you decide to ‘take him’. It’s your right as the dominant to decide to peg him.

Become a slut – He will likely enjoy you dominating him as you peg him. As well as the physical act of inserting a dildo in him, it is perfectly acceptable to objectify him. He is not an equal sexual partner.

The one thing a submissive male being pegged should be is exactly that, submissive. Your efforts in making him believe he is submissive go a long way to enhancing his enjoyment of your pegging dominance.

Something often missed by dominant females while pegging their man is that he will want to know you definitely being pleasured as you peg him. He will massively prefer it if you are getting stimulation and are in the process of coming.

If you watch pegging videos sometimes it is plainly obvious the woman is not being stimulated. She is going through motions, rather than being the dominant participant. He at least likes to think as you slide in and out of him, that you are getting sexual pleasure yourself.

Learning to do that, will enhance his enjoyment of his submissive pegging sessions.

Tease Him To Effectively Control Him

With the fact that many submissive males, love to submit to your sexual needs, means that the power dynamic is easy to manipulate, so to speak, in your favor.

This essentially means you can tease him to the point of complete submission, and he will be completely compliant in every way. Most submissive men, when given a sexual instruction will obey it without any complaint or hesitation.

The mere promise of sexual activity from his mistress, normally means you have complete control. You almost have a mindless drone it appears sometimes.

Therefore, it is entirely within your purview to tease him at any appropriate junctures in order ensure compliance.

In fact, you can often make pleasing you its own reward for a job well done. You certainly shouldn’t do it all the time, but often the promise of a small tease makes a submissive man very attentive to what you wish to be done.

The one thing teasing does is cement your dominant sexuality with his submissiveness. He will, or at least should obey all your commands quite willingly.

The other thing to remember is you are under no obligation to return the favor. When teasing him for your own enjoyment or to get him compliant then you can take it as far as you wish.

Consider a few of these options

BJ crawl – Whenever you feel like it demand a strapon BJ. If you can wear the harness under some clothing and get him to crawl to you. Get him to unzip you and unfurl your dildo. Make him give you the best BJ he can.

Chore tease – Have your strapon dildo under your clothing as he performs a chore, like washing up. That way you can sidle up behind him and rub your dildo into his ass cheeks while he works. As he is scrubbing the dishes you can tell him he has a ‘sexy ass’ that needs a good pounding.

Outdoor BJ – Outdoors is a perfect place to show your sexual dominance and tease him. It can also add that ‘x-factor’ element as well. Quite frankly the possibilities are endless, so why not experiment. Go for walks and get him on his knees in the woods to give you a BJ, or get him to park up somewhere secluded and give you a BJ in the back seat.

How A Submissive Man Wants to Be Pegged

While there is no specific way every man likes to be pegged, there are some good pre-qualifiers that meet most men’s needs in this way.

Watching pegging videos you will see the girl acting out the male fantasy, and it can give quite the misconception about how a submissive male likes his dominant mistress to peg him.

While there is the physical aspect for sure, there are some clear psychological factors that drive that need deep within a submissive man.

These aren’t often discussed.

However, they are probably key ingredients in his submissive nature. It’s always worth discussing with your partner these aspects, but some things to consider would be;

It’s about you – Being pegged is a very submissive position for him, and juxtaposed to that is your dominant sexual position. He knows you are his mistress. He is more than likely happy about pegging bring you a lot of pleasure. Let him know how horny pegging him is for you.

He doesn’t want you to be quiet – While you are pegging him he likes to think that you are being sexually stimulated. Pegging is not just about inserting a dildo into him but getting you off as well. As a sexually dominant mistress, you should be trying to sexually satisfy yourself when pegging.

Control him – As a dominant mistress you should be controlling his position, whether he can stimulate himself as well as speed and thrusts. Feel free to tell him what he can do and what he can’t. Don’t be too shy either. Slap his hands away if he tries to masturbate himself.

Objectify him – When pegging he is your toy and plaything. Pegging is just your preferred method of orgasming. When pegging you are trying to cum yourself and you should act accordingly. Feel free to tell him he is a slut, that he is an awesome shag, or how he loves you being deep inside him.

Deny Him His Assertiveness When He Is Being Pegged

Many men will quite happily try to take charge of your decision to peg him. It seems natural after all and you may be tempted to let them, especially if you are either new to it or nervous.

Why shouldn’t you do it after all? He is roleplaying and asking for you to perform a certain way to enhance his enjoyment. If he is a steady partner, then it can often seem quite reasonable to do so.

If you are pegging him then you are de facto the dominant partner, right?

This behavior has many names but a common one is called ‘topping from the bottom’. What this essentially means is they like controlling the activity themselves while giving you the superficiality of dominance.

Any tendency towards this behavior must be resisted in my opinion.

When discussing with your submissive partner his enjoyment of your sexual dominance, you must make clear that he will not be allowed to do this.

Under no circumstances is he to control the pegging by making instructions to you. While there is always a consideration for pain, he should have safe words for that.

The reason is it will not satisfy a true submissive. In his head, he is guiding you, and you are losing natural authority. For a much deeper satisfaction of his submissiveness, he will be much more fulfilled if you stand up to him.

And not only stand up to him but assert that he is there for your pleasure, not the other way around. What this means is that you will have to work out how you like pegging him as much as anything.

Here are some ways he might try to top from the bottom and how you can reassert your dominance

Initiating pegging – He might try to insinuate, or directly imply that he would like to be pegged at a particular moment. Don’t come down to his level by defensively saying you don’t want to. It implies he can try to initiate pegging activity again. Nip it in the bud early. You can punish him for insolence if you like, but he should certainly be informed that you will ‘shag his ass’ when you feel horny and not before. He is not to suggest it again.

Faster pegging – You may well get told to be ‘faster mistress’ as you are pegging him. Again he is controlling your performance to enhance his pleasure. Simply tell him he’s your bitch for the evening and you will f**k him how you want.

Deeper pegging  – This is similar to being asked to peg him faster. Same reasons and attempt for control as before, and it should be met with similar scorn. Tell your submissive slut to be patient, and keep quiet.

He will talk – This is a fine line, as some verbal communication is warranted, especially if you are asking him something, like whether he enjoys being your little bitch. However, some men might be compelled to say things that are nothing more than thinly disguised instructions or are nothing statements to amplify their enjoyment. If he tells you he loves being your toy or ‘mistress is so commanding’ then turning it back to you is important. While pegging him tell him you really don’t care and he should shut up. If necessary just mention that his ass is there for your enjoyment. 

In certain clothing – With particular fetishes, a submissive man might try to entice you into pegging him. Again, depending upon what you agree to at the beginning of it, just be aware that he is trying to initiate sex via actions rather than vocally. Just tell him you will hump him when you are ready, not before.

So there you have it, a small set of things to think about when pegging your man.

All in all, just make sure it’s fun for you, as your submissive partner will ultimately be satisfied that he is providing you with some pleasure, and he is just the instrument with which you receive it.

Happy pegging !!!