If you’ve just been asked if you’d mind pegging your partner then there are probably hundreds of thoughts and questions running through your head.
Pegging, in theory, is a simple sexual affair. A female places a strapon harness on herself and inserts the dildo into her partner’s anus.
In a complete role reversal, she know becomes the one who controls the sex.
Within the act there are many idiosyncrasies and nuances to be found, not least of which is why a man requests it in the first place.
Additionally you might wonder how he enjoys pegging? Is it as simple as just a sexual pleasure, or is there something more to it.
To my mind there is a powerful role dynamic at work, which with some twists can lead to a much enhanced pegging session.
What this article pertains to is that many men have a real need to see their women act more assertively, and want to be more submissive in the sexual arena occasionally.
Let’s explore why your man will want you to peg him.
Why He Might Want You To Peg Him
In modern culture pegging, or talking about it in polite company is still a bit of a taboo. There is certainly the myth that if you are male and like pegging then you have homosexual tendancies, which is a complete fallacy.
It’s rising in popularity though, and many men now feel more comfortable with giving it a try, and indeed women seem more assertive in asking to give it a go as well.
While pegging seems a little at odds with the normal order of things, as traditionally at least, a male penetrates a female, for many this is the very attraction of pegging.
On a purely physical level, the male prostate, which is a walnut sized gland in the rectum with stimulation can often produce intense physical pleasure within a male.
The strapon dildo when anally penetrating the man will rub against this gland and pleasure him. It can produce a real physical effect and actually make him erect.
This can be a reason enough for a male to want to at least try pegging as it removes focus on the penis, so is both good for those with erectile problems and those who suffer from premature ejaculation.
However, the physical aspect of pegging is just a part of the reason that men love the idea of pegging.
Pegging subverts the traditional gender roles for sex, making the male much more submissive and placing much more control to the female.
Within the scope of this lies a whole psychological and deep seated submissive fantasies for the male enjoy on a very deep and subconscious level.
Both females and males can enjoy the power switch, and can add a level of intimacy to any relationship, as there is a great deal of trust involved in the change in power dynamic.
Many men have truly submissive needs occasionally. They can be temporary, sexual or deep rooted and lifestyle orientated.
Additionally men can be turned on by an alpha female type, whether in roleplay or within the confines of a relationship.
This means that a dominant female with a penchant for pegging can be both sexually alluring, and satisfying to a man with specific submissive tendencies.
Essentially, this leaves a very wide scope for why he might enjoy pegging, but also, how he will enjoy it. How he will enjoy it is important, as he may have fantasies about how the female portrays herself to satisfy him fully.
A man who enjoys the act of being pegged, may confine it to roleplay, vanilla sexual activity or may require a more alpha female style of being pegged.
The fact is, that you will have to have a quick chat for him about his liking of being pegged, and what psychological aspects there are to his attraction to it.
Some Questions To Ask Before You Peg Him
Finding out what his deep seated reasons for asking to try pegging will much better help you understand his ultimate enjoyment of it.
Essentially you need to know why he is requesting to be pegged, but what style of dominant you want to portray to him.
You might be uncomfortable performing in a certain manner, or at least need to brush up on a technique in order to satisfy his true ideas.
A truly submissive man will have preferences but ultimately like to leave the choices up to you, however, it’s normal within a relationship for the female to take into account how her man likes to be pegged.
Even within a female led relationship you might want to reward him with a good pegging, and something you know he will enjoy the most.
Alternatively, he may just enjoy being a sex toy to your rapacious alpha female
So with that, here’s a few questions you might consider asking him in order to find his true desires.
Tell me your reasons? – Is it simply a simple sexual matter, that of prostate stimulation or does pegging roleplay sexually excite you? Is me being dominant while pegging part of your desire?
Do you enjoy being submissive? – As pegging involves a power exchange, and I will take control, how much do you enjoy that idea? Is me being more controlling and you being more subservient attractive?
How dominant can I be? – Within confines, what parameters do you enjoy me being dominant? Can I initiate pegging? Will you do as you are told? How assertive would you like me to be?
Give me a few words? – Give me a few words about how to act towards you as my pegging submissive. Loving? Caring? Rough? Mocking? Dismissive? Lustful? Uncaring? Forceful? Seductive? Sexy?
How forceful can I be? – With you being a submissive partner how forceful would you like me to perform? How fast and deep do you like it? Is me ordering you around part of the excitement for you? Can I slap or strike you if I feel like it?
Is hair pulling allowed? – If I have you on all fours and am pegging you can I grab your hair for extra purchase?
Can I tie you down or restrain you? – To make you more helpless and submissive, can I physically restrain you in order to peg you? Does having limited movement while I enjoy pegging you enhance the experience for you?
Does feeling like my sex toy seem exciting? – As dominant female while pegging you, does my seemingly thinking of you as my sex toy enhance your enjoyment? Should i treat you like your enjoyment doesn’t matter as much?
Do you like the idea of me being sexually selfish? – When pegging you, how exciting is it for you to be thought of as a piece of meat for my enjoyment? Can I peg you like I have paid for you and don’t care about you? Do you feel submissively and sexually satisfied if I use you for my sexual pleasure?
Language? – How important is my being vocal during pegging you? Do you like me being very vocal as to how good pegging you feels? What sort of language enhances the experience for you?
Belittling? – As a submissive, when pegging how important is it to feel both physically and mentally my inferior? Is it OK to make reference to your being my slut, or how you just live to receive my penis. Can I compare and belittle your manhood? How humiliated do you like to feel?
Do you want to be treated like a whore? – Pegging you will make you my submissive sexual partner? How do you feel about me only thinking of you as a piece of meat for my enjoyment?
Describe a scenario including language etc – Give me some scenarios about how you envisage a good pegging session for you?
Some of those questions may seem perfectly normal and some not. They are there so you can get a feel for the level of submissiveness from your submissive male partner.
Quite frankly, it isn’t uncommon for a man to like being pegged by a sexually dominant female who acts lustful towards him but treats him as a piece of meat.
Some men prefer a more mocking and caring partner, a female who is going to have her wicked way with him and mocks concern for compliance.
Finding out how feels during being pegged goes a long way to enhancing the experience for both of you.
Character And Language Is Important During Pegging
Watching any videos related to pegging and you might quickly ascertain what makes a ‘sexy’ video and what types make it seem like they are going through the motions.
There is an enormous difference to both of you about how you should enjoy a pegging session with respect to the character and language used.
If you’ve watched any videos where there is simply no vocals, or any character displayed it becomes apparent that a lack of it, just simply flops.
So to speak…..
The lesson here might be that he will probably want to see evidence of you in character while he enjoys being pegged.
Chances are more than good that you just inserting your dildo into him and slightly rocking back and forth without either saying anything or acting a certain way will leave him less than satisfied.
Remember, part of the attraction for many men of being pegged is the psychological power switch.
You being the dominant power needs to be both displayed and acted upon. You need to act like he is there to do what you tell him in many instances.
This is achieved in three main ways;
Let me explain what I mean by each of those terms.
Initiation – This may more accurately be called the setup or tease. As the saying goes, a good ‘mindfuck’ can be better than the real thing. When thinking about giving him a pegging, it would be a good idea to set the scene up. He may like spontaneity sometimes and that is fine, but you should tease him into it.
Depending upon this level of spontaneity, you can do this two ways.
Firstly, consider sending him text messages way beforehand, perhaps while at work that set the intent and tone
Messages such as;
- I’m feeling really horny – make sure we have some strapon lube
- I wanna f**k that ass tonight
- He sweetie, I wanna take your ass tonight, prepare yourself
- That sweet ass is mine tonight
- I am gonna peg that sexy ass all over the house
- Gonna bend you over the couch tonight honey and peg you till I come
- You’ll be taking my strapon tonight, you being my bitch makes me horny
- Sex toy time tonight. Get ready for a good pegging tonight
You will know what kind of language turns him on, so why not use it to toy and tease him with anticipation. As long as it comes over as commanding and assertive you should be fine.
The other way is if you are already in his proximity and sending him a text is not really appropriate.
You will have to find a different way, maybe, although he may really like you just being spontaneously lustful towards him, and wanting him bent over. There are however a few good ways to tease him into it…
- Spank his ass and start fondling it. Tell him to drop his pants while you get ready
- While he is doing a chore dry hump him. Then tell him it’s made you horny and he should bend over the couch
- Sit on the couch with the strap on. Start masturbating it. Get him to give you a BJ
- Tell him to strip naked and bend over the couch. He will wait there until you get yourself showered and ready.
- Give him a chore that takes a while to do. Sit there with your strapon and insist he comes in and kisses it occasionally.
Character – This is harder to specify and certainly teach about because every single man who loves pegging will have a different turn on when it comes to the dominant female.
This is why it’s vital at the pegging to ask him what excited him about the dominant partner.
The truth is everyone is different so there is no definitive answer to this question.
A man may like roleplay pegging only, and what turns him on is you as a nurse. He may admit that there is something sexy about a nurse, who is traditionally thought of as caring, strapping him down and pegging his ass against his will.
For others, there is something sexy about a loved partner, suddenly deciding to ravish him and selfishly wanting to peg him.
Again, for others they love the thought of a partner almost making love to them with pegging. The man lying on the bed face down and the dominant female lying on top gently penetrating him whispering horny and sweet messages into his ear.
The truth is you may have to learn, and get some roleplay clothing to enhance both your enjoyment of pegging.
Additionally the poise you have will have to reflect the style of dominant pegging he particularly likes.
If he enjoys the evil nurse scenario you may well consider getting some appropriate attire and learning how to be a complete bitch who thinks of her patients as pieces of sexual meat.
Whatever his preferences, you may need to act the part, not just be you.
Be prepared for that if you want to make the best possible experience for him.
Language – Language, and how you use it is where it’s at. It can make or break a good pegging session.
Silence can often ruin it, as can half hearted attempts at being ‘in character’.
The key is to make him believe your words.
Again, if you are properly prepared you will have asked him what he likes in his dominant pegging partner. In many cases it may be necessary to do a little private practice session.
If the character of the dominant he likes is not quite you, and you feel a bit uneasy, just be rest assured, it’s only play, he enjoys it and it is just a bit of fun.
If necessary watch a few videos to get an idea of how language changes a scene.
Some men like a ‘gentle femdom’ approach to their pegging, so consider phrases like
- Suck it for me baby, I love watching you give me oral
- Your mistress wants your best oral technique now baby
- I want to be inside you, let me see that sexy ass
- I am feeling so horny, drop those pants and bend over the couch for me
- I know you love it when I peg you, tell me you want it
- Get naked on the bed babe, face down, that sweet ass is mine tonight
- I’m so deep inside you, it feels so good
If he likes it more assertively consider
- Stop what you are doing and crawl over here and give me a BJ
- Deep throat it baby, i want to see you suck it real, hard
- Get it hard and wet baby, As I’m going to out in in your ass
- Get those pants off and bend over the couch, I want this dick inside you now
- I know you love me shagging you, beg me to f**k you harder
- Get that ass on the bed for me, naked face down. Gonna hump you till I come.
- Good little slut, you’re taking my whole shaft, feels so good
Some however like a lustful alpha female, uncaring and uncompromising, so try
- Open wide and suck this, I want to see you gag and choke on it
- All the way in bitch, suck me like the whore you are
- I want this cock all wet and hard, going to peg you hard and deep with it
- Get over that couch now and spread those cheeks wide, I’m gonna pound you good and hard
- You love it don’t you slut, you love me pegging you good and deep
- On the bed now, naked face down, I want to f**k my whore
- Good little bitch, taking my whole length, you dirty little slut
I think you get the idea, an escalating and uncompromising language, the more selfish he wants you to be about pegging.
Things To Try During Pegging
So you have a good tease, and initiation of pegging, you are prepared to ‘get into character’ a bit and you have the language to use to turn him on.
That’s all well and good, and indeed, goes a long way to making a pegging session really awesome.
Here’s a few things to think about that touch the psychological need in his submissiveness.
Think selfishly about your pleasure – It sounds harsh, and maybe even counterproductive but trust me he will love it. Psychologically the thought of you actually having sex via pegging and really turning yourself on and riding him to stimulate yourself makes his submissive tendencies feel fulfilled.
Act like it’s a real cock – It’s tempting to think of it as exactly what it is, a fake penis, but you should really start to think of it as your cock when you have the strapon on. Stroking yourself as if you are receiving pleasure makes it feel more real. In the same vane, get him to give you a BJ to make you ‘hard’ and wet before inserting it into him.
Act like you are getting pleasure through your strapon – When inside him, and thrusting in and out make pleasurable noises as if his ass was gripping you and you were receiving pleasure via the penis. Try to make him feel like you are massively being stimulated via your shaft. Perhaps even mention how good it feels to be inside him.
Get a strapon that stimulates you – If you can this is quite important. It isn’t unnatural for a strapon harness not to physically stimulate the female, but try a few until you find one that rubs against your clitoris and actually stimulates you. That way when you ride him you can do so while trying to orgasm yourself. Trust me, you making orgasm noises while pegging him will really turn him on, and after all, why shouldn’t you.
Act – don’t say – Try not to make requests from him like ‘you want it harder don’t you or asking him if it’s ok what you are doing. Try not to pose statements as a question. You are the authority, act first and tell him what you are going to do. Order him about a bit and act like his requests are merely thoughts for you to entertain. Just tell him you want it deeper inside him, or thrust faster because it’s more pleasurable for you.
Take control – This is another requisite of pegging, especially the more submissive he likes to be pegged. You are now in control of position, speed and everything. You need to act like it, and not let him try to control you. If he makes a request like wanting it deeper, don’t just acquiesce. Tell him that he is a dirty little slut for wanting it. Move him about as you wish. He is not the authoritative power while he is being pegged.
Trying to talk to your partner about the benefits of a female led relationship can be hard. Use this open letter to help or to prompt constructive dialogue.
Why is this entire post about how a woman can please a partner while pegging them? Sure I get it…we all want to excite our partner. But I think it equally important that women learn how to please themselves when pegging their lover. Little excites me more than than seeing my woman thrilled, aroused, and even orgasming while pegging my ass. Female dominance is about women learning about their own desires and acting upon them. It is most definitely not about play acting in order to arouse their partner. And if not authentic, such playacting will usually fall flat. If my woman doesn’t enjoy it, I don’t want her pegging me. And that goes for any and all sex.
Exactly. In fact, it’s really of the only importance that the Mistress is satisfied as she is Dom. I will willingly take the pain if she receives pleasure, but am not expecting her to forgo her pleasure to advert my pain. I’m hers to take as long and as hard as she likes. The more she gets into it the more I am able to enjoy it, but my enjoyment is secondary.
This writing is counter productive to a female led relationship as long as the emphasis remains on women pleasing men. I like that the male writing these articles is willing to share his deepest needs-that takes courage!
For me,as a male, pegging is a dominant women penetrating not only my body but penetrating my mind and soul . That can only happen if I share at the deepest depths of my soul. Sharing these needs with my wife takes courage and a willingness to be embarrassed or humiliated if she should reject me. My wife being a trained psychotherapist and very trust worthy and loving person daily penetrates my mind and my desires to some very uncomfortable depths- I feel mind fucked penetrated and sometimes humiliated by her penetrating mind. Uncomfortable, kinda like a naked boy shivering on a windy, cold wet beach.
For me expecting my partner to fulfill all my sexual fantasies is more about me than HER! I have given up all of my own sexual expectations and have truly given her my heart and soul. That means to me no wanking off no matter how horney I am. I take that that sexual energy and turn it into sexual devotion to HER needs and expectations. A cock lock would be a wedding ring should she require it but she doesn’t and that’s OK. My wife makes the plans and I feel relieved of those burdens yet am all too happy to execute her plans. She prefers to make the plans but I know that planning is a true burden for her and I often feel guilty that she carries that load and consequently I often scurry about to lighten her load wherever I can.
Quite often she un knowingly hurts my feelings but deep down I know she loves me very deeply and for that gift she gives me, I give all of my body,mind and soul to HER. I give to her what She wants, not what I want. The word ‘HER’ is sacred to me.