The truth is not all of those wonderful ladies out there know about a BDSM lifestyle, or at best they can be misinformed about what it represents. This article walks you through the tricky process to get your partner to actually like your subservience.
I know the problem. You are with a great girl. She’s fantastic in many ways.
Beautiful, sexy, intelligent, and fun to be with. She has all the characteristics of making a stunning and wonderful domme. But you’ve lightly broached the subject, or have reason to believe she won’t be particularly favorable to your desires.
Constant badgering or nagging doesn’t work nor does arguing.
Luckily there is a solution. It’s a small battle to get there but you can subtly train your partner to like her dominant role, without it causing any undue stress, indeed done right, it will be very pleasurable for her.
This isn’t a quick fix solution. Something worthwhile never is, but it does have its rewards.
I’ve done this twice, so I know it works.
I’d say the first time was about 8 weeks and the 2nd time was nearer 12 weeks to get this to work. It requires patience, building confidence, and appearing to be very natural.
How This Works
This technique uses a few well-known laws of the world, so let me walk you through them.
First off, I have to make one thing clear. This technique is ABOUT HER. If you go into this selfishly or with schemes in your mind then it won’t work, and you are doing it for the wrong reasons anyway.
As a small diversion, I was at a car dealership several years back and was looking at the coupe version mainly because I was worried about trunk space, so ended around the saloons.
When talking to the salesman he said ‘Aaaah, I thought that. At least I did. Can I show you something’
He proceeded to take me to the coupe version and I was astonished to learn that it actually had a bigger trunk space.
What the salesmen did, was slightly alter my perception, but first, he did it by agreeing with me. It was an interesting lesson, and we can apply the same thinking to this problem.
The steps of the technique will use positive reinforcement as well. Your future domme will get rewarded, as they take steps towards taking ownership and control of you.
Don’t panic yet, I will walk you through the steps as we proceed.
The last natural law this technique works on is the ‘law of reciprocity’. For those new to the term, it is just simply the obligation most people feel when something is done for them.
Think of it like this. If we were neighbors and one day I hired a lawnmower. Say I then said, hey, while I’ve got it I can do yours too. A few times of doing that and you may well start thinking I’m a terrific chap.
So, if I then knocked on your door and asked for some help taking some building rubbish to the tip. What what you say?
Most of us would feel an instantaneous desire to say ‘sure, no problem’. After all, you helped me without me asking.
That’s the law of reciprocity working.
You do something for others, without asking, that has a pleasing effect, and the law of reciprocity starts working.
Again, you have to push it and MAKE IT ABOUT HER. It doesn’t work unless she feels she owes you. It doesn’t work if it feels false. She has to see you putting in the effort.
What To Expect
So, it can take a few months, there’s some effort involved, but the strategy is completely sound.
It’s not a timed exercise, you don’t have to get there in a similar amount of time. Each stage may take longer or shorter, it depends upon how your domme is naturally as a person.
Everyone is different, don’t have a time goal. Have a mission goal at each stage.
With that, let’s dive right in.
Step1 – Setting The Stage
On the assumption that you are in a relationship, you’d like your partner to be more dominant, but sense reluctance. The first thing to do is to take up an innocuous goal.
I picked health at the time, I wanted to lose some weight and wanted more definition on my forearms and biceps. I wanted to be a bit more masculine.
When I did this I bought a men’s health magazine and started reading it. I waited for her to ask me about it.
When she did, I said I wanted to get a bit healthier and fitter. Just thinking of ways to do it. She deserves a better physique from me after all.
She liked that one.
What I decided to do was press ups. I did a few situps as well, but my main thing was press ups.
Everytime I had 20 seconds or so, I did some press ups. I started at 5 and gradually worked my way up. It sounds silly, but every time I went to the bathroom I did some press ups. And some situps.
Basically, go on a little health drive. You don’t need to go overboard and spend hours in the gym every day but get used to doing press ups and do more walks.
TIP – underplay it. If you walk for half an hour, tell her you did 20 minutes. If you did 20 press ups in the bathroom, say you were doing 13. If she’s watching, match what she expects, but less than you can actually do.
I used to go to the bathroom every day about 5 times, and got to doing around 20 each time quite easily, within a few weeks. That’s actually 100 press ups a day.
Again, tell her you are doing 15 or so, and are doing 75 a day.
The goal here is to get her used to you going after something to achieve it.
It’s not a mission in occupied France. Joke about it a bit, have fun with it, let it be a bit of a giggle. Get her to feel your new triceps.
My girlfriend at the time really laughed when I said, ‘I’ll be able to actually sweep you off your feet soon’.
Step 2 – Step Up The Regimine
Really get into it now. Have a regime stick to it.
Let her see you putting effort into getting fit.
Don’t tell her you are eating healthier, or less junk at work. Drink more water than lattes. Look at a few calorie charts, and secretly try and loose a little bit of extra weight.
Let her see you are working at getting fit for her. Maybe broach that if she has fantasies, she better tell you now before you become a Chippendale.
Again, humor and ease is the name of the game.
Keep doing more than you are telling her. If you are doing 150 press ups a day, in 6 blocks of 25 tell her 75. About half is right. It sounds more impressive than it is.
At the end of this phase, say when you can do 150 press ups, but she thinks you can 75 or so, start suggesting she help with your motivation.
You’d like to do it a bit more than you have been, and involving her
Let her come up with suggestions and if feasible (make them feasible), then do them. If not get her to remind you to some some at set times. Pretend to forget a few times and go when she prompts you.
Compliment her on her help, not over the top or anything but the feedback you want to give is that she is an aid to your goal.
She is definitely an asset is the attitude you want to be displaying.
Step 3 – Get Her Helping You Further
At this stage, she is not putting in too much effort, just casually helping you maybe, by words of encouragement,
She should like helping you achieve more press ups and get fitter. Tell her that if she can help you get to say, 300 in a day (pick a number that sounds achievable, and remember you are already ahead of the game) we should do something to celebrate.
Tell her you will take her to a good restaurant as a treat maybe. Something romantic rather than bedroom orientated would be my approach. In fact, that was my approach. Subtlety is the name of the game here.
Try asking her if she would mind making it more fun. Helping you out a bit.
To mix it up and keep your motivation at its highest, you will need her support. That sort of thing. There’s no unearthly reason why she should refuse that request.
Why would she?
She might even suggest how? Get her to come up with something if she can.
If she doesn’t, tell only going to the bathroom to do press ups is a bit boring, you kind of need a trainer, or guide to mix it up to become interesting. It’s getting a bit dull and her help might be ‘just what you need’ to keep motivation and inject some surprise into it.
Ask her if she’d mind coming up with some random times in the day, when you are in the house to go and do the press ups.
TIP – there should be no femdom inference here. You are just asking for help, to keep motivation and make it interesting for you. The mantra should be that you want to continue and her help would be greatly appreciated.
She may even come with the old Sargeant majors line all by herself ‘ OK, drop down and give me 20’
Again, it’s still a game, a bit of fun. Keep it light-hearted, and joke if you can. Tell her she’d make a good Sargeant major if she says it a few times. She may not.
After a while she may toy with you a bit. Getting you to do it again, very soon after you have done one before. Remember, you have asked for her to spice it up and keep you on your toes.
Do it without complaint. Whenever she requests or suggests it, do it immediately. You are asking for her help and are responding. That’s the message that you need to convey.
NEVER, EVER show disdain or contempt. Just get on and do the press ups, in the convenience of the bathroom still maybe.
Remember, to still do when she is watching less than you actually can. Do extra and keep this quiet from her.
Make sure there are plenty of compliments if it’s discussed. She is helping you achieve something. Make her feel like she is part of the effort.
Get her to push you a bit. Ask her to see how you are doing occasionally, and see how easy it is for you as you progress up to the number you can do each session. If you can do 20, or 25 struggle to 16 or so. Get her to decide when you jump to 18, or at least ask her that you want to go up.
Does she think you should? Say you think you can do more. Get her to watch and decide if you should push the number up.
Say every 3 days, she can watch you do your set. As you can actually do more, make the set look a bit easy. She will then increase the number for each set for you to do.
Joke that she is a slave driver, but you enjoy being pushed and held accountable. This process is much more interesting with her pushing the agenda to keep you motivated. Make her know that you appreciate her efforts to make you achieve more.
Maybe even surprise her with a gift, or a treat night out for all the effort she has helped. She’s helping you get fit and healthy.
This is where you having done more earlier comes in – she will see that she is helping you achieve something, and with her help you have achieved more than you might have done on your own.
Look at how many more press-ups you can do when she helps you. That is why you are pleased with her involvement.
You still need to keep it fun, not instructional, or obvious. At this stage, it’s about getting fitter for her still. You want a better physique to make her proud.
The message that she should be getting is that after only 7 to 10 days of her help, you are obviously much fitter – look you can do more with her help. Let her know you are pleased with her help.
Step 4 – Introduce The Gorgeous Wife Phenomenon
This is the ‘this is going really well’ phase.
There are mixed ways of playing this phase, and you can maybe do both.
What you should do though, is definitely say you want to increase the number of times you do reps a day, to further advance towards the goal. Put the goal further back with her acceptance if you are too near it.
If you set it at a total of 200 press ups a day and you are doing 5 sets of thirty already, then ask her if you can move the goal to 300 total. It might be worth doing this anyway.
Ask her to set a realistic number. What does she think you can achieve?
Ask her if she’d mind messaging you at work a few times a day, at random times, and you will do them then and there at an easy spot at the workplace. Let her know it’d be easy for you to sneak off and do a few press ups.
After all, work is 8 hours of the day, you could achieve more using this time.
She may even ask or joke that she won’t know if you do them. Ask if she would like proof. If she does, send her by the appropriate messaging app, or email, a photo, or video of you doing them.
At all stages, she is helping you achieve a press up goal. This needs to be the main belief still. No mention of anything else should pass your lips. Keep very quiet on where all this is going.
This is ALL ABOUT HER. Remember that.
She may really like it, if she does, get her to surprise you more with physical tasks. Never complain, just get on and do what she is asking.
Keep getting her to surprise you with physical tasks by messaging app.
TIP – If she ever says, right do this, and gives you a chore you wouldn’t normally do then you should say no, or at least joke ‘maybe next week’. If you jump in too early with doing everything she says, she will start to question it. BE STRONG HERE.
Tell her you are enjoying the surprise of doing physical work, and press ups, especially at work. Because it’s a surprise it’s easy to keep motivated and on target.
Without her helping, you wouldn’t have got this far. She needs to know you need her to keep on track. You are improving yourself and she is helping, again, that is the message that must come across naturally. Forcing things doesn’t help.
She is secretly learning to give you orders – she thinks she is helping, but psychologically, you are obeying her requests. She is getting comfortable with the process of coming up with when you should do something.
Don’t rush this phase, as it’s crucial. Shy girls can feel a little uneasy, but as long as the message is she is helping you all should be well.
If she asks for proof you are doing it, even as a joke that is a good thing. Tell her to ask for proof in the message when she requires it. Otherwise, you won’t bother. You’d be quite happy to make sure she can help you achieve your goal after all.
You can push this phase a bit, depending upon the nature of your domme. You have to gauge when to do this, maybe before a date night, or when she is looking really good.
At an appropriate moment, when she is in a good mood for sure, say you want to try something. Just a quick thing you want to see if it’s possible.
Get into the press up position at her feet and ask her to put her foot on your back. Offer a bit of resistance and see how many you could. Nothing strenuous.
See if she likes or jokes about making things difficult for you. Does she just rest her foot on your back or does she stand on you and say ‘go for it’. Either way, encourage her to deliberately give you some press up resistance to do.
You’re just curious as too how many you can do with her offering a bit more difficulty. Do as many as you can with her doing this. On the last press up kiss her foot.
Joke about it but casually let her know you were aroused a little bit. DONT PUSH IT.
If things get physical, make it about pleasing her because you are so grateful for what she is doing.
This is ALL ABOUT HER. Pleasurable rewards for her help.
Keep going on this phase until you achieve your goal. Do the foot kissing bit near the end, maybe even after you have hit your goal.
For now, you both need to celebrate the success, and of course, she should be rewarded for her help.
Step 5 – With Your New Found Energy
At this stage she really should feel like she has helped you. You, of course, have still been putting in extra effort to make it easy.
You should be well into this now, and you want to treat her for her help. A fancy restaurant, a shopping trip for a coat, just something simple, but a bit more than a cinema trip.
You have got to your goal of 300 a day, say, and you need to treat her otherwise you might have given up quite a while back.
Make a reasonably big thing of it between you. Nothing preposterous, just a grateful man taking his partner out. Needs to be romantic, if nothing else.
Because on that particular night you are going to pleasure her as much as you can. When you get her back home, kiss her and touch her where you know she likes it.
Massage her if you know she likes it, kiss her everywhere. Try and perform the best cunnilingus she has ever experienced. In short, go overboard a bit on the thing you know she likes and wants.
She’s helped you and you want to give her the best sex you can. Make the whole experience about her.
Give her as many orgasms as she can stand, because the message needs to be ‘thanks babe, for helping me get fit and achieve my goal. Couldn’t have done it without you’.
Drink an energy drink secretly if you have to but, you need to act like you have loads of energy now.
Casually though, at the end of this stage, you want to ask her how you can return the favor. You have some fun ideas.
Step 6 – Find Her Best Fantasy And Go OverBoard Fulfilling It
Firstly, it should be mentioned that during this stage, you need to keep up the press up regime. Increase the goal again, and make sure she keeps helping you. It’s fun when she does, you enjoy the surprise element.
You like knowing you can’t cheat, because she can ask for proof. Her help, and watchful keep you soooo motivated and on track. You feel like you can do anything with her support.
However, back to the bedroom, after the goal celebration night.
If you know she has fantasies, then go for a chat about exploring her favorite one. And I mean a good chat.
You want to know the scenario and what makes it exciting and erotic for her. Get her to really think about it over the next few days and write it down. Why she likes that fantasy. What elements appeal to her.
Ask her about the way she feels to make it more exciting. What aspects would make it more exciting?
Would costumes help? What style of language does she like to hear? What language does she not like?
What might be 3 big mistakes that would ruin the experience for her.
If she is a bit shy try and coax it out of her in a fun way and in no way pressure her. Order a copy of female sexual fantasies, a book by Nancy Friday. Surprise her with a copy and ask her to read it. Look them up on the internet, and discuss them with her.
Ask her to write her best ones out. Get her to think about it, you’d love to help her (after all she has helped you)
Impress her with your knowledge of the most common ones. Tease her about lesbianism being a common fantasy for women. Which female celebrities does she have a crush on, that sort of thing.
Remember to keep it light hearted, but persistent. Also, keep up with those press ups and her helping.
When it comes up by her, make the connection between her helping and you wanting to please her.
She deserves the best sexual experience you can provide.
The object is to go overboard in fulfilling her desires, not to be a pest. Get her to look for fireman outfits for you to wear if you have to.
Get her to help you out picking the outfit. What looks like the picture you have in mind to fulfill her desires. Involve her as much as you can in this decision.
If she asks about your fantasies, dismiss it as unimportant at the moment, you can talk about them after you have perfected hers.
You need to fulfill her desires here. Get her to explicitly tell you why she likes a scenario, ask questions that you would need to know in order to make the experience magic for her. NEVER condemn or think her idea is nuts.
TIP – this is an important point. You need to ask her how you can keep modifying her fantasy to improve. When it’s natural to do so, express that you are trying to learn how to please her best.
Learn everything you can about her fantasy, research it on the internet, with her if you can. Let her know you are trying to understand why a woman likes that fantasy.
Then plan, and execute her fantasy. Perform what you have learned, make the language you use turn her on. Tease her for a few days beforehand though.
You should have enough knowledge to make this a good experience for her. Hopefully, she will be impressed with your desire to learn, implement, and perform for her most desired fantasy.
Afterward, ask how it could have been better. Continually keep trying to improve the way you deliver her fantasy. Ask her to be honest about ways you can improve.
Sexually, in this phase, EVERYTHING NEEDS to be about her.
There needs to be a connection between how easy it was for her, how enjoyable it was, and how comfortable you have made the experience for her.
Your fantasy has been unimportant up until this point, but essentially, this phase is a rinse and repeat cycle. If you get to a point where you have performed her fantasy, and she can’t think of a way to improve it, then set a time and place where you fulfill her fantasy. Once a week maybe.
Or set a smaller press up goals to hit and reward her with her fantasy again.
Alternatively, ask her about another fantasy that turns her on. Tell her the first one was exciting to do and you want to try another.
Rinse and repeat.
Keep up with the press up goal and needing her invaluable help. To her, it’s still really enjoyable that she surprises you with the request, and you do it.
Wait for the law of reciprocity to kick in – because at some point you are going to hear this.
“So what about your fantasies then?”
Step 7 – Giving Her Some Control
Try not to leap in with a whole bunch of requests.
Tell her it’s a good question. You have a few but it’d be interesting to think which one might be the very best.
Ask her which one she thinks it might be. Get her help in helping you decide. You will come up with some options for roleplay you find exciting.
KEY POINT – The key here is to balance typical male fantasies, but have a small element of female control by nature of the situation. The typical female fantasy of a firefighter is about a damsel in distress, making the male the hero and the one in control. Conversely, the common male one of two lesbians is still a male control fantasy in many ways. Whatever you decide, it needs to have a controlling female presence (The maid fantasy has no natural power disparity towards the female).
So, she is interested in what turns you on, and what fantasies you like. Having gone really overboard for her ones, she will assuredly want to do the same for you. You asked about what makes it good for her, she will return the favor, or at least not object when you explain why you are excited about this fantasy.
TIP – Try to ensure the small element of control from her in the fantasy is dressed up as her teasing you. This de-escalates her control and gives you cover for increasing that element of the fantasy. After all, she is just teasing you.
Forget any fantasy that doesn’t allow a female in the core role.
NEVER mention female domination, BDSM or and element of her supremacy.
Every man is different, but a couple of suggestions might be.
Naughty Nurse – You have arrived for a small medical check-up. With a stroke of luck, the nurse in the private room is a bombshell. She is professional looking and directs you to take a seat. This nurse is very sexy and she knows it. She asks a load of medical questions, smacking away your attempts to stroke her thigh (keep those hands to yourself big boy). She measures your weight and chest size. Finally, she asks you to take off your shirt, and goes for your heartbeat, noting things down on a form. She takes your heartbeat and notes that it’s a bit fast.
Finally, she says she has completed her examination and she has diagnosed a low libido. Her prescription is evocative teasing and oral sex. She whispers into your ear what she is going to do to you, how hard she is going to make you, and that she will sell your seed to a sperm bank. She then sets about her task, bringing you unheightened pleasure.
Headmistress – You have been naughty again. You go and see the headmistress after school who will give you your detention. She is delightfully sexy, with stockings, suspenders, and a short skirt. There is quiet authority. She sits you down and asks why you started the fight. You mumble a really bad answer. She continues and you don’t really know why. Finally, she says, ‘I think you have a bit too much testosterone, you have hormones raging around you and that you need to release those desires.
Maybe with this one you could introduce a small spanking if you can get away with it (press ups if she doesn’t – with her making it harder by pressing her foot on your back), but the headmistress believes in rewards as well as punishment for naughty schoolboys. While you are in the chair she sits on the desk in front, spreads her legs a bit of you, and asks ‘have your ever tasted a woman before? You shake your head, but she gets you to lean forward, gently strokes your hair and pulls you between her legs and says ‘well, start licking and let me grade you. Would you like to learn how to do this in some private lessons? But only if you are not going to be naughty.
Bitch Boss Interview – You arrive for a job you really want and take your seat. Your interview is with the company boss who is a sexy female entrepreneur. She is dressed in a sharp business suit, blouse, sexy stockings, and thigh length skirt. Your impression is she is very knowledgeable and skilled. You want to work there. She looks at your CV and looks dismissive. She asks why you want the job. What skills you have. How you could improve the company. Every time you answer she says that everyone says that. She looks at you with those sexy eyes and tells you that you aren’t that impressive a candidate. Maybe she berates you a bit about why you thought you would be good enough to work for her. This workplace is dynamic and vibrant and you aren’t good enough to be employed here. Finally, just to be polite she asks ‘do you have any useful skills at all? You list all your skills, and after each one, she isn’t impressed (I can research projects and prepare feasibility studies – so what, so can half my staff / As a salesman in my first job, I delivered a 12% return above expectations – Not sure I believe you, i don’t see talent).
As a last gasp, and getting up to leave realizing she isn’t impressed you say ‘I won the best cunnilingus performer at high school graduation’.
Suddenly her attitude changes. She relaxes and says Really? Tell me more, what happened. You describe how you lost a bet while drunk at a party and gave this girl a good licking out. She was so impressed she told her friends who then asked for the same treatment. By the end of the evening, you were an oral star. Rumor spread from there.
Finally, she smiles a bit. Hmmm, maybe I have misjudged you a bit, come and show me what you got.
TIP – make a casual comment that when preparing for her fantasy you secretly practiced what you might say, in order to enhance the atmosphere surrounding her fantasy. This is quite useful for her, as she may well practice how she might interview you.
Schoolgirl Brat – You are a school nerd. You are good at maths, physics, and chemistry. She is the popular schoolgirl beauty with all the boys after her. Some important homework is due (get her to come up with something for you to write) and Tara, the sexy school brat, siddles up to you with her cleavage showing. She wants you to come over and help her with her homework. Of course you say yes. When you get there she tells that you can do hers. She has some calls to make. You being a nerd get to work while she rings her friends, and does sexy instagram pics for her page. She also reads magazines on her bed with her skirt riding well up on her bottom. She catches you taking sneaky glances at her.
She starts to tease you about your thoughts. Being a brat she starts to tease while you are trying to do her work. She lays back and touches herself, trying to get you excited- ‘maybe if you get me an A, I can reward you’. When you finish her homework, and you tell her it will definitely get an A she teases more and rewards you.
Princess – You are a butler to a famous Princess. She is all sweetness and light in public but all this adoration has turned into being dismissive or normal people. She expects to be waited upon hand and foot. She wants champagne in flutes and adores being pampered. After giving a few meaningless tasks she tells you security has advised she stay in her room.
She was about to go for a massage but now cant. You eagerly suggest you could do it. She sniffs and dismisses the idea. Getting bored after getting you to pour another champagne, she goes ‘oh sod it’. She lets you massage her, and in doing so you turn her on. You are her bit of rough, but it must remain secret.
These two are honorable mentions if she doesn’t like those above. The above examples are more common male fantasies.
Caught Burgling – You are an expert burglar, and during the break in she catches you in the dark with ‘don’t move’ (you can go for walk prior to this one and let her prepare the house). She has a gun and is the daughter of a cop. She orders you sit down and when turning on the lights she is dressed in an amazing neglice. Your draw drops open and she notices.
Not what you expected hunh. She orders you to strip and starts taking photos to blackmail you.
She wants to know why you were burgling her. You offer loads of excuses, and she starts to feel sorry for you. She is still angry though and wants to blackmail you with those naughty pics.
You plead with her not to do that, to which she says ‘OK, so what are you prepared to do for me’ (make sure her desire is strangely similar to her fantasy)
Prison Guard – You are in a cell locked up or shackled and the sexy female prison guard is starting to get turned on so that she can tease the hell out of you without you being able to do anything. She really enjoys teasing you and making you squirm. You are yearning to be free to teach her a lesson.
The guard is getting provocative and enjoys your discomfort as she teases you to the point of explosion but never letting you get there. Suddenly, you both realize that the cell door (or shackles are not locked properly).
Get her to pick the outfits that she feels comfortable with any of those scenarios.
REMEMBER – All these fantasies have an element of female control, but it is not the overriding part of the story. When you pick one to go for, make sure that any element of control is not mentioned of why you like it.
TIP – Use elements of her fantasy to incorporate into yours if you can. There’s no fixed rule here, but if she says she likes it when you firmly take control, add that in as an overcoming resistance, like in the prison guard example above.
TIP – You can add a domme element, if asked, and she wants to push it that you really enjoy the tease part in your scenarios. Make her understand how much of the teasing you enjoyed. Get specific with examples. I loved it when you teased me and whispered in my ear. Her teasing you is her controlling you.
TIP – Add a little more domme elements, and I mean little by extending what would make it even better (eg. ‘Could you next time, please tease me more by puling my head back a little by the hair and say seductively that you love teasing me )
TIP – Make a casual comment that when preparing for her fantasy you secretly practiced what you might say, in order to enhance the atmosphere surrounding her fantasy. This is quite useful for her, as she may well practice how she might interview you in the bitch boss scenario.
So, after all this, you need to keep this going. Doing her fantasies and her doing yours.
Step 8 – Adding The Domme Elements
You need to make clear that you are having the best time recently. Her ability to tease you is awesome. They are the most exciting parts of the scenario for you.
Your heart just really pounds when she is teasing you. She should like doing this to you.
What you should now be thinking is of adding to the teasing element, as it is the best turn on ever.
Just slowly increase the amplitude very slowly. You don’t want to jump straight to ‘I love it when you completely control me, and I give myself to you.’
Never scare her with jumps like that.
They should be much more incremental.
For example, let’s take the bitchy boss fantasy. The whole fantasy is about you eventually getting one over on the boss. She’s a bit bitchy, but slowly you have skills that she succumbs to. At least that’s the start of it.
Here’s how I’d do it.
Hey honey, you were awesome playing that tough interviewer. You looked great, the most amazing I’ve ever seen you when you were in that role. Really good, I hope we can do that again.
Just so you know, I really love the teasing part. It’s the build-up and expectation. The anticipation of what I’m going to do is so overwhelming, that I get a real high from it. I never really knew that about myself.
Next time, can we increase this bit in the roleplay. I love the bit early on where you set the scene and define the context of the roleplay. I think it will make it even more exhilarating. You make such a good tease as well.
I’m trying to think of some things myself, but could you come up with a few surprise ideas maybe to inject into the roleplay.
Maybe after the interview tell me I am by far the worst candidate she has seen before, pretend I’m that person you hate (joke). Knowing what I am going to do to you in a bit really makes it more powerful.
Also could tease me before I get to giving you oral. I love that part and teasing me here will enhance it. Maybe put a foot on my shoulder and push back a bit telling me how you like it. Instruct me a little on how to pleasure you better.
Don’t be afraid to chastise me in character a bit as part of the tease. Push me away occasionally and say ‘I thought you said you were good – I’ve had much better. Still, you look like you are trainable – if you can give me multiple orgasms like this I might hire you’.
Phew, honey, you are really blowing me away with your teasing. I can’t believe how much it turns me on. You should definitely push me a bit harder in that area. Feel free to get creative with your character. I’m quite happy if you go off script a little to inject some randomness into it.
So there you go.
A slow but steady process to help coax a shy girl into finding her inner domme.
The early part of this is for girls who you think may not really get into the role if presented too early. The reality of it is that doing the press up routine isn’t that hard to do Doing 40 press ups can take less than a minute. Do it at 6 intervals every day and that’s 240 press ups a day.
Do it at 8 intervals every day and you are now sailing past 300. The reality is once you can get to 20 or so press ups a day, it’s quite easy to get to a really high daily number by making more intervals.
Don’t let that be the bit that puts you off trying it.
It sounds way more impressive than it is, and of course, that works to your advantage here.
I know it works, so feel free to try it. Every girl is different and some girls can quickly get to the fantasy roleplay stage. The key at that stage is to go overboard fulfilling her dreams. Then give her your scenario which has a female power disparity by the nature of the roleplay.
Gradually increase the teasing part of the roleplay in small increments until she is fully into the role. She now should have no trouble with you enjoying her power roleplay where she is more of the domme.
To everyone out there, happy domming and happy subbing.
It’s taken me a while to put this article together, and I really hope it helps. Feel free to drop me a comment below. I’d especially like to hear from you dear ladies on what your thoughts are.
Trying to talk to your partner about the benefits of a female led relationship can be hard. Use this open letter to help or to prompt constructive dialogue.