How To Own and Handle Your Sissy Maid

posted in: Sissy Maid | 2

Female dominance takes many forms in the real world. The enjoyment women get from taking control, to the need many men feel for a more authoritative figure taking responsibility.

Female led relationships are becoming more common, as women feel more confident in the role, and men find they can release societal pressures by having an area of their lives outside of their authority.

It’s a match that works for many, in whatever relationship that may take. Marriage, lifetime partners, or casual acquaintances can enter into a mutually beneficial relationship. It’s a step outside societal norms that makes many more comfortable.

It’s not a ‘tick box’ preference though, everyone has nuances that suit them. For many men, the idea of being dominated while owned as a female is a situation they seek. They like being emasculated to the point of being feminized.

Being a sissy maid is their true calling.

a sissy maid posing

For the dominant female, and the purpose of owning their sissies – they are your property. You’re not their friend, lover, or employer. While they are a sissy, you definitely own them.

Assessing Reasons

Before settling into a sissy maid relationship and all that entails it’s important to discuss motivates, and get as specific as you can.

What motivates one, will not be what motivates another. It’s a cliche, but it’s true. Everyone is different.

If you are in a strong partnership already, it’s a lot easier, but many sissy relationships are fun kinks and play.

You BOTH need to decide what you want from it, and what you’re comfortable with. There are no right and wrong answers here. I’m not a massive fan of labels either.

Firstly, check the reasons for your submissive wanting to be a sissy maid. What is it that motivates them? It will determine how they like to be treated.

Being a sissy maid is different from cross-dressing.

While cross dressing is a male lking the experience of dressing in female clothes, being a sissy maid involves training in which the submissive is given lessons and trained in the art of femininity.

Why a submissive partner wants to be a sissy maid needs to be addressed. What motivates them, and understanding that motivation is key.

a sissy maid posing

It allows a burgeoning mistress to understand the sissy maid, and form humiliations, treats, and punishments. How to handle a sissy maid is contingent on understanding this reasoning.

Does the submissive like to be treated like a certain type of female? Downtrodden maybe. Or a bored housewife, or even a slutty maid. 

What does the sissy maid require from the dominant female? Here is where a mistress can identify as that aspect of the play, and see if that is her domina. If it isn’t something has to be addressed. Both parties need to be satisfied.

Does the sissy maid need a more masculine dominant, or a more feminine role model to be subservient to.

There is quite a difference in the power dynamic between a female led relationship where trust and authority has been built up and a new burgeoning relationship starting. It will take time to build up the trust, so make sure you expect it to take time for the comfortability level to grow naturally, and not be forced.

A sissy maid with a strong bond between the participants obviously works best, unless a degree of separation is needed. Some submissives require an on/off approach to it.

There are also different levels of sissy behaviour. Some submissive men will be comfortable with feminine clothing and being treated like a female, whereas others prefer to get a wig, lipstick, and nail polish.

They throw themselves into the transitions, so everyone has different appetites.

Men, even submissive men have a difficult time completely separating the act of being a sissy maid and sexual stimulation. There is an erotic nature in the practice that is ‘built in’ to a submissive man, so this wil need to be addressed.

Women might be used to being ‘objectified’ so to speak, but men might desire it as part of the sissy maid lifestyle. Either exploring this side, or talking about it upfront will help make the experience right for both of you.

Deciding upon when sissy play is acceptable is worth exploring. The more of a lifestyle it becomes the less this is important, but in the first instances, you will need to work out between you how and when a sissy maid should present herself.

a sissy maid posing

The dominant female also needs a good grasp of whether this is for her. She may not wish to spend too much time on it, or may be really into it.  The balance of what you both accept naturally governs how you will proceed.

Fundamentals Of Sissy Maid Dominance

Understanding the motivations and acceptance of the relationship dynamic is important to the underlying premise of being a sissy maid.

For the dominant female, the core understanding of your sissy maid’s desires will be the platform upon which you build up their subservience.

In that sense it’s like any other gentle femdom partnership. An understanding based upon mutual agreement of authority underpins the whole dynamic.

Dominance of a sissy maid is not like that of a regular dynamic. Their treatment differs wildly from a normally submissive male within the relationship.

A sissy maid is taking on an effeminate role, and would reasonably expect to be treated as such. They require control from their female dominant but desire being treated as a female.

The sissy maid will not desire masculine chores, punishments, rewards, or humiliations. At least as a general rule.

Depending upon the nature of your relationship, which I presume is a private affair, there will have to be an agreed set of parameters, and when ‘play’ is acceptable to both of you.

A sissy maid can more reasonably expect more feminine taskings. Their appearance is likely to be more scrutinized, and commented upon.  Their ability to color coordinate themselves should be higher priority than other more masculine traits.

This applies to assessments of their usefulness to a mistress. Part of being a sissy maid, is just that, a maid.

So the mistress should be prepared for more cooking and cleaning tasks rather than vehicle cleaning or heavy lifting.

a sissy maid posing

The language used will also change. Addressing a sissy maid will take on a more feminine address, as will disrespecting comments.

Such as;

  • Patricia, don’t you think you’re showing too much leg
  • Do you think that’s appropriate, my dear
  • Looking a bit ‘whorelike’ with that lipstick don’t you think?
  • Legs together when you sit down, no-one wants to see your ladybits
  • I should pimp you out, would you like that?

A sissy maid will also want to hide his manhood, such that it is, behind frilly underwear. Commentary on the body physique can change so that a controlling mistress might refer to the sissy maid’s manhood in more female terms.

The penis becomes the clit, and the chest becomes her breasts.

Inspection Of Your Sissy Maid

When the sissy maid is made to present herself, a mistress should do an inspection as if on a parade. Make your sissy maid stand very still while you tour their appearance.

There are many different aspects that a mistress may wish to grade, but of particular note may be;

Attire – Is your sissy maid dressed appropriately. They must look feminine and present themselves respectfully to your authority. Is your maid clean, well dressed, and looking like they took some time to check how they appear to you. Looking cheap and unclean is disrespectful.

a sissy maid posing on stairs

Hair – Your sissy maid should place a premium on her hair, the way a woman does. The mistress should assess for a suitably presented maid.

Make up – Has your sissy maid applied lipstick and eye shadow in a manner befitting a maid, and not made herself look cheap. Feel free to issue instructions on how to improve.

Clothing – The sissy maid will be performing cleaning duties maybe, so how can she clean your house if she can’t keep herself presentable.

Fingernails –  Are they manicured and well presented. You don’t want ragged nails scratching your possessions.

Footwear – Are they appropriate and well polished. A sissy maid should take care of her shoes, and they should be functional for a maid.

There’s a whole host of things a mistress can insist upon. Underwear checks, a chastity cage, and a butt plug if it seems appropriate.

As a functionary, you may want to check they have the appropriate cleaning and maid tools for the tasks she will be performing.


Duties lay at the heart of having a sissy maid. That’s rather the point of having a maid.

As well as learning duties the sissy maid should be well practised at the curtsey.

It’s a mark of respect and submissiveness to the mistress. A sissy maid should be informed of her expectations to curtsey whenever she is acknowledging a request or order.

However, a sissy maid will have a prescribed list of duties and responsibilities given to her. There is obviously no specific set of requirements and each sissy maid / mistress relationship will develop to cover the needs of the mistress.

The profile of the sissy maid will be a loyal and humble servant to the mistress. She will be an utterly submissive servant to the mistress’ desires and pleasures.

Functionally she will be there for cleaning, but there are additional maid tasks like ironing, shopping, and cooking that might be required.

Your sissy maid may need a precise job description, but she should go about her tasks with enthusiasm while providing top quality service to her mistress.

Laziness shouldn’t be tolerated, and she must strive for quality in her work.

The following list may be a sissy maid’s duties, but they certainly aren’t limited to them

  • Clean and tidy designated areas
  • Vacuum designated areas
  • Dust all designated surfaces
  • Clean and sanitize bathroom
  • Clean mirrors, glass, and pictures
  • Report shortages
  • Equipment maintenance for all cleaning items
  • Laundry
  • Polish designated surfaces
  • Clear rubbish
  • Ironing
  • Sheets
  • Cupboards kept tidy and stocked
  • Linen refreshed
  • Watering houseplants
  • Cooking for meals, snacks, and beverages
  • Kitchen kept clean
  • Petcare
  • Messaging services
  • Lay and serve a table

Prompt and efficient service is mandatory.

a sissy maid posing with mistress

Humiliations And Punishments For A Sissy Maid

A key to sissy maid humiliation is to understand motivations. That is pretty much the attitude for any mistress to take in any situation. You can’t administer a punishment if the sissy maid considers it a reward.

Any punishment or humiliation should be run through this ‘filter’. There is also the consideration of severity. Spanking can be an effective punishment, and even enjoyable for a submissive, but a harsh spanking is painful no matter if they like spanking when it’s mild in nature.

Humiliations and punishments should be female in nature for a sissy maid as a preference, or at least degrading from a feminine point of view.

More male style punishments should be avoided in preference for treating the sissy maid as female.

The ultimate sissy maid punishment by way of severe punishment will be a painful paddling, caning, or otherwise uncomfortable spanking. It shouldn’t be done out of anger but disrespectful disobedience of a precise set of rules or instructions.

A mistress should be rightfully annoyed if a requested task is not done either on time or to an acceptable standard. A sissy maid should certainly avoid this occurrence.

A sissy maid will be expected to work efficiently and diligently so her mistress does not have to. The sissy maid should do everything to avoid being dismissed by the mistress. Being in mistress’ employ should be considered a crowning achievement.

There should be physical consequences for serious abuses of protocol. It doesn’t have to be immediate, but effective follow through should be adhered to.

Punishment should be used for a sissy maid who can be trained to be servile and obedient. Dismissal from service is the worst offence.

While spanking that involves pain is a legitimate punishment for a sissy maid in service, the mistress has an arsenal of options available to her to either humiliate or punish.

A mistress may use any, but them being ‘female focused’ carries more weight. As a few suggestions you could try any of the following.

a sissy maid posing with mistress and cane

Verbal – A sissy maid should seek the approval of her mistress thus verbal humiliation or retribution will try to be avoided. A serious rebuke can have a profound effect.

A mistress can choose not to refer to the sissy maid by name, but choose a derogatory term. There are quite literally hundreds of these, but ‘bitch’, ‘whore’, or ‘slut’ can be effective. You can even go lighter with ‘bimbo’.

A mistress can attack the dress sense of a sissy maid. Anything from cleanliness, to inappropriate clothing, or even color coordination. Is the sissy maid making basic mistakes like a dark colored bra under a white blouse? 

A mistress can even insinuate promiscuous behaviour on the part of the sissy maid. A mistress could question how the sissy maid is walking and suggest she must have enjoyed last night on her knees.

A mistress can humiliate a sissy maid by asking derogatory questions that impugn a lifestyle. Try such things as;

  • That skirt is very short, are you trying to look like a whore?
  • Don’t you think that that much lipstick makes you look like you give BJ’s
  • You looking at that man because you’re a bit horny honey?

Change appearance – Normally a sissy maid will be addressed appropriately for her work and servitude. A professional appearance will be needed for her work. 

A sissy maid should want to appear professional to her mistress. Being downgraded to be appearing as a prostitute or a bimbo is a loss of status, especially if they are treated as such.

Dying their hair blond, while making them look like the proverbial ‘dumb blonde’ especially if mistress treats them as such.

The change of appearance can be commensurate with something the sissy maid would find either humiliating or feel she is being punished for, such as more masculine, a prostitute, or a blow up doll.

Remedial training – Giving a sissy maid femininity training is an acknowledgment that they are too masculine in their attitude and appearance for the mistress’ requirements. By it’s very nature it’s slightly dismissive.

a sissy maid posing with mistress

Slut training – A sissy maid undergoing slut training would learn how to be a bit more objectified by males. She should be taught how to be a low rent sex object. The sissy maid needs to be taught suggestive language, flirting, provocative poses, and the general art of appearing promiscuous.

Deep throat training – A sissy maid should be required to become an expert at giving oral pleasure. This training is common among all sissy maids who wish to serve a mistress. The ability to give oral satisfactorily takes time to perfect. The sissy maid can be made to practice often, and be given larger practice dildos until the mistress is satisfied.

Plugs and cages – A mistress may choose to keep a sissy maid in chastity as a natural state of affairs. Depending upon how the sissy maid reacts to them can be utilized for maximum effect by the mistress, Plugs to prepare for anal training should be considered.

Chain to kitchen sink – Everyone has heard of the phrase ‘chained to the kitchen sink’ so it would be a punishment for a sissy maid to be collared and tethered so she cannot leave the kitchen area.

A mistress can get their sissy maid to perform tasks and chores, or even cook meals while tethered making escape impossible.

I haven’t classified the above list as humiliations or punishments as there can be overlap, or within a degree of severity it can pass from reward, through humiliation, towards punishment. An activity isn’t easily defined but a mistress should decide what effect it will have on the sissy maid when applying any practice.

a sissy maid next to mistress

Kink Play With Sissy Maids

Many men find it difficult to totally separate being a sissy and needing some sort of sexual stimuli. They seem intertwined somehow.

A mistress can skillfully ‘torture’ a sissy maid with this.

Whether kink play factors into any sissy maid relationship may revolve around the normal relationship between the sissy maid and her mistress. If they are lifetime partners, like being married

For other mistresses’ it’s more of a lifestyle and sexual inferences will not be wanted. It’s about matching the desires of both.

There are no formal statistics or evidence on this but it would be reasonably safe to assume that kink play with sissy maids is more common with an established relationship underneath the play.

A mistress might be more inclined to indulge the sissy maids preferences within this scenario. That certainly makes sense to me.

Here’s a few things to get those creative juices flowing if you’re new to all this;

Suggestive commentary – This is simple, easy to do, and can be highly suggestive. A mistress when the opportunity arises can sexualize or be otherwise suggestive to her sissy maid.

I’m sure you can imagine, but something like;

  • That’s sexy looking ass you got there
  • Phhwoar – you need a good seeing to at some point
  • Hey, if you do ‘extras’ then let me know
  • Bet you make all the boys hard when you go out hey?
a mistress getting a towel outside of a bath

Dress modeling – A sissy maid can be given tasks and chores to get a dress code and ‘lool’ going for various different aspects of her femininity.

Clothing and appearance will require different aspects of the sissy maids etiquette. Dressing as a maid might be appropriate for chores but mistress can get the maid to have the appropriate attire for smart casual, sexy cocktail dress, formal blouse and skirt, nightclub, or sexy lover clothing.

Wolf whistles – A quick wolf whistle is highly suggestive, and is normally associated with a male expressing physical admiration for a female. Mistress can then follow up with something lewd.

  • Give us a flash then
  • Give us a twirl – let’s see that ass
  • Blow us a kiss then
  • If I guess your panties color, can I have a kiss?

Ass slaps – An ass slap is light kinky play that objectifies the sissy maid quite well. The mistress can slap her sissy maids ass occasionally in order to cement this objectification.

Suspender snap – Curling a finger around the suspender belt and snapping the elastic back against the skin is very sexually provocative to a sissy maid, especially if you have to lift a skirt up first.

Dry humping – At an appropriate juncture a mistress can get the sissy maid to stop and quickly (that’s the key) perform a dry hump. It’s a kind of spontaneous kink designed to simulate lust for the sissy maid.

If they are cleaning windows quickly get them spreadeagled or if they’re cleaning a surface then get them to bend over suggestively.

A mistress can then step behind the sissy maid, grab the hips and thrust her hips into the sissy maid a few times.

Oral (giving) – If a mistress really wishes to get into kink play then a sissy maid practicing her oral technique on a strapon can be real fun. The mistress can play the ‘devil may care’ attitude, or more coy. A mistress may even like the ‘our dirty little secret’ approach. Whichever she chooses, getting the sissy maid to give her oral gives ample excuse for kinky dominance.

a feminized french maid serves champagne to mistress

Oral (receiving) – This requires the mistress to play an act that the sissy maid has female genitalia. A mistress can feign a lesbian fetish or tease how the sissy maid needs or wants her clitoris to be licked.

Quickies – A mistress can decide to take further any kink play a little bit further. In the ‘lust’ she can decide to take her sissy maid in any position or location. She can either openly flaunt the activity or make it seem a little more sordid to reflect the nature of the lust.

Pegging – Sometimes a sissy maid looks just too ‘hot’ for a mistress not to take advantage of. The sissy maid is under ownership and as such is available for sexual gratification from a mistress.

Why shouldn’t a mistress bang her hot maid?

There are plenty of either ideas out there if you want to use your imagination.

a mistress pegs with feminized french maid

Final Thoughts

The sissy maid is an aspect of femdom that many find an exciting and worthwhile activity. Every participating mistress likes the sissy maid for dominance and control.

The sissy maid, in return, gets controlling and caring dominance so she does not have to worry her pretty little head about things other than chores and tasks so deemed.

A submissive mae enjoying the control of a mistress while being an accomodatinf sissy maid has been practised through the ages, and remains so today. It’s a common fantasy.

A sissy maid is more than just cross dressing, the maid needs to be of service, and tasked with chores to accomplish. It’s as much about being treated as a sissy maid as anything else.

The mistress should be willing to have a committed and passionate servant willing to attend to her whim and desire. The sissy maid must attune to this relationship.

a mistress with a sub in females clothing

Controlling a sissy maid is about dominant guidance and loving care while being firm and fair with the sissy maids chores and attitude.

A sissy maid must be dutiful and professional, or expect criticism from the mistress from the perspective of female attributes. A mistress should rebuke male like behaviour.

2 Responses

    • Jason Tulowetzke

      i can agree on this too. This was something i had been interested in but thought i could never do it up until my last Owner started training me to accept it as respect for cleaning up my mess in or on Queen. i have done it two times and as much as it grossed me out the way it made me feel extra low as a submissive service sub to Her made me feel proud that i did such a task to please Her

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